MacGyver » Season 5
Original Air Date: February 19, 1990
MacGyver and Jack Dalton visit Jenny Larson at Smoke Creek Farm after learning that her father, Nick, has been killed. Nick died after being kicked in the head by a horse, but Jenny doesn't believe it was an accident. While inspecting the stables, Mac discovers that the small device that Jenny found is a high-pitched transmitter. Jenny explains that George Henderson, the man who bought the mortgage on their farm, had coerced Nick into fixing some races, but Nick was going to stand up to Henderson and go to the police. With Nick dead, Henderson owns Smoke Creek Farm. At the Phoenix Foundation, Mac and Jack learn that Henderson is laundering money for a thug named Lucky Charlie. Mac forms a plan. Posing as a suspiciously wealthy businessman, Pete Thornton approaches Henderson. Taking the bait, Henderson sends his henchman to spy on Pete. MacGyver, in the guise of computer nerd Dexter, meets with Pete to discuss building a high-pitched transmitter with which to fix races, and the henchman calls Henderson to report this conversation. Elsewhere, posing as Lucky Charlie, Jack confronts Henderson, demanding his money. Using information from "Dexter," Henderson suggests a partnership with Pete. Soon, Mac's plan is a success as they catch Henderson confessing to Nick's murder on videotape.
Mick: You killed him.
Henderson: Would you rather be in jail?
"You are a nightmare, you know that." Mac, to Jack
Jack: Come on, Mac. It was just a little downdraft. We weren't that close to the trees.
[Mac responds by pulling a pine branch from the plane's wheel and shoving it at Jack.]
Jack (undaunted): I had the situation completely under control.
MacGyver: Did Kyle tell you how they fixed the races?
Jenny: No . . . But I think it had something to do with Jenny's Chance. Henderson tried to buy him from me, and I told him to get lost. And then he showed up at Dad's funeral with the foreclosure papers.
Jack: This guy's a real vulture.
Jack: Why was the money marked?
Colin: It was part of a flash fund we used in a sting operation on Lucky Charlie in Miami - only we were the ones who got stung.
Jack: A million and a half of Uncle Sam's money: I'd hate to be the G-man in charge of that fiasco.
Colin: You're lookin' at him, and if I don't recover it soon, I'm going to be sweeping out the file room.
Jack: You have a plan, Mac. Where do we start?
MacGyver: Voice lessons.
Henderson: My father always told me, "Never sell to an anxious buyer."
Henderson: Let's talk.
MacGyver (as Dexter): That's a gun!
Henderson: And that's a car. Move it.
[The bad guys toss "Dexter" into a horse stall.]
MacGyver (as Dexter): Come on, you guys. I'm allergic! I got hay fever!
MacGyver (as Dexter): So maybe I'm not into audio-electronics, alright? I'm strictly into main frame systems. Program development?
"You have some explaining to do, Señor." Henderson, after Jack is revealed to be a fake
"Okay, okay, you got me. Just no stabbing, or shooting. . . . Nothing that hurts." Jack, after Lucky Charlie threatens him
Lucky Charlie: Sounds very good, if it is for real.
Jack: It is. Believe me, with your million five, you'll make a killing --
[Jack looks at Henderson's gun.]
Jack: -- so to speak.
Henderson: He claims he's been connin' all of us to snatch Charlie's money.
Jack (with a nervous laugh): Well . . . Can't blame a guy for tryin'.
Lucky Charlie: This place is almost too perfect.
Henderson: Relax, Charlie. Relax.
Lucky Charlie: In the last twenty-four hours, I have been chased, shot, and impersonated. I'm in no mood to relax.
"Think of it as a . . . surprise party." Mac, surprising Henderson
Original Air Date: February 26, 1990
MacGyver and Pete Thornton work with Dr. Gwen Carpenter on the ERMA project, which will make submarines undetectable to SONAR. A small-scale test of the ERMA unit is a success, and DEA agent Dan Stringer congratulates the team; with the ERMA unit, law enforcement will be able to catch ships transporting drugs for a Colombian cartel. During dinner that evening, Gwen reveals details about the project to her boyfriend, Nick Landis, but, unknown to Gwen, Nick is using her to acquire ERMA so that he can sell it to a member of the drug cartel. The next day, the ERMA unit is stolen during transport, and evidence indicates an inside job. A frantic Gwen begins to suspect Nick. One of the thieves, Joe Banniker, is caught and arrested. After hearing that Banniker is a computer expert, Mac suggests that the bad guys will need someone else to access the control program for ERMA. Elsewhere, Nick resorts to calling Gwen; he lies that his life is in danger unless she brings the operations disk for ERMA. Posing as computer geek Dexter Filmore, Mac is locked in a holding cell with Banniker, and they strike up a conversation. Soon, "Dexter" is bailed out and taken to see Nick. Gwen arrives with the disk, but it's clear that Nick has lied to her. Stunned to see MacGyver, she blurts out his name, inadvertently blowing his cover. Nick threatens Mac, and Gwen agrees to demonstrate ERMA for Nick's customers. Mac escapes from the trap they left him in, and he joins Pete, who arrives looking for him. They track Nick to a ship. Pete goes to call for backup, and Mac sneaks on board. He frees Gwen and takes care of Nick's two associates, but Nick appears with a gun. Gwen sneaks up on Nick and knocks him out with a heavy metal pipe.
Pete: Even though I know it's true, I can't believe that they can afford that kind of technology.
Stringer: Nothing the cartel does anymore surprises me, Pete. They outgun us, outbudget us. They've got ten times the technology. Their chump change is worth more than the assets of most governments.
MacGyver: Well, let's hope ERMA can turn all that around.
"You may have just changed the course of the war on drugs." Stringer, to Gwen after the test is a success
Sanchez: You have this kind of stealth technology?
Nick: I wouldn't waste your time if I didn't, Mr. Sanchez.
Gwen: Let's call it a day then. I have a major, somewhat intimate gourmet dinner to prepare.
Pete: Oh. Actually, Gwen, I was hoping that you would be able to stay and finish up the final project report.
Gwen: Get someone else, Pete. This lady's busy.
Pete: Do you believe that? Six months ago I would've had to pry her out of here.
MacGyver: Yeah, well, six months ago she wasn't fixing "major, somewhat intimate gourmet" dinners either.
Pete: I think the lady's in love.
"Love. Sure does affect productivity." Pete, with a good point
"Happy six-month anniversary, Honey." Nick, to Gwen
MacGyver: How was dinner last night?
Gwen: Oh, dinner was okay, but the evening was perfect, really perfect.
MacGyver: I'm looking forward to meeting this guy.
Gwen: Oh, you'll like him. He's . . . something special.
Nick: He's dead?
Donally: Worse. He's in jail.
MacGyver: With their hacker in jail, they might be lookin' for a replacement.
Pete: You have somebody in mind?
MacGyver: Remember Dexter?
[The guard brings "Dexter" to the holding cell.]
MacGyver (as Dexter): Hey, I'm claustrophobic. I don't want to be in here too long.
[The door is locked, and he calls after the guard.]
MacGyver (as Dexter): It's creepy in here! And where are my shoelaces?!
Banniker: You Dexter Filmore, the guy in the paper here?
MacGyver (as Dexter): Mm. To think, yesterday I was a nobody.
MacGyver (as Dexter): Joe Banniker? I've heard that name before.
Banniker: I have been recognized for my talents as well.
"You know, you're my -- well, uh, you know what I mean. I got a lot of inspiration from those stories about you." Dexter, feeding Banniker's ego
Donally: It's just a matter of time 'til she puts two and two together.
Nick: Gwen's been leaving me messages all day. My guess is she has already put it together, she just can't bring herself to believe it.
MacGyver (as Dexter): It was one of the best I ever cracked.
Banniker: Says in here it was foolproof.
MacGyver (as Dexter): Yeah, well, I'm nobody's fool.
"I didn't count on falling in love with you." Nick, laying it on thick for Gwen
MacGyver (as Dexter): It's my steady girlfriend. We're in love.
Donally: I'm happy for you, Romeo. Now, let's go.
"It takes research, patience - and time." Dexter, on the art of code cracking
Donally: That'll take days.
MacGyver (as Dexter): No. Approximately three months, two weeks and four days.
Nick: If you can do it in two hours, I'll pay you two hundred grand.
MacGyver (as Dexter): I know shortcuts.
"That oughta hold him." Donally, about the tank Mac is in
Pete: What are you doing in there?
MacGyver: The backstroke, Pete.
Pete: Suppose that could be where they went?
MacGyver: We don't have time for it not to be.
MacGyver: Why don't you call for some backup; I'll see if I can slow 'em down.
[Mac turns to look at him.]
Pete: Never mind. I know you'll think of something.
Sanchez: Landis never told us this.
Gwen: He . . . probably didn't want to worry you.
Stringer: What about her job?
Pete: Well, that's another story. The board has voted no, and I have to agree with them.
Stringer: But her only real crime was in being too trusting.
MacGyver: Eh, she'll be fine. She's a fighter.
The Lost Amadeus
Original Air Date: March 19, 1990
MacGyver finishes a bike ride with his neighbor, Wilt Bozer, and they part ways. As Mac stops to buy a paper, his bike is hit by a car. He's okay, but the driver, a chatty lady named Lulu, insists on giving him a ride home. As they go, she rambles about her friend and boss "Izzy," who turns out to be a famous violinist. Lulu stops at a pawn shop for Izzy but finds the place closed. When she again avoids taking Mac home by stopping at Izzy's place, Mac decides to leave, and he starts for the street with his bike. Inside, Lulu finds Izzy being threatened by two men demanding "the Amadeus." Mac finds Lulu's party invitation in his newspaper and heads back to the house to return it. Hearing raised voices, he enters and is knocked in the head by one of the bad guys. To buy time, Lulu says that she has the Amadeus and will bring it to them somewhere public: the 20's party that's on the invitation Mac brought. The bad guys take Izzy hostage and leave. Mac and Lulu return to the pawn shop, where Lulu resorts to breaking in to retrieve Izzy's package. Inside, they find an old violin: a priceless Stradivarius with papers that confirm its authenticity. At the 20's bash, Lulu swaps the Strad for a band member's violin, a move that buys her and Mac a chance to escape when the bad guys arrive. Piecing together the clues, Mac and Lulu track the bad guys to a violin shop belonging to Arnold Tubbs. They find Izzy, but Tubbs and his associate are waiting for them. While Tubbs takes Lulu back to get the real Amadeus, Mac frees himself and Izzy and knocks out the other baddie. Leaving Izzy to call the police, Mac heads back to the site of the party. Tubbs finds the violin, but Mac and Lulu foil his escape. Later, Mac introduces Lulu to the newly health-conscious Wilt, and the two seem to hit it off.
"Hills. You didn't mention hills. And you said 'a spin' not the Tour de France." Wilt, gasping for breath
Wilt: I'm so hungry I could almost eat health food. Come on. I know this great little donut shop.
MacGyver: Nah. Nah, I'm gonna head on back. Make it a nice, quiet Sunday. Read the paper. Couch potato stuff, you know?
Wilt: That's your problem, MacGyver. Not enough excitement in your life.
Lulu: So, how do you like the nineties so far?
MacGyver: The nineties?
Lulu: It sounds so serious, doesn't it? I don't know about you, but I was just starting to get used to the eighties.
Lulu: Did I tell you Izzy's a musician? Do you want to hear some of his stuff?
MacGyver: Uh . . . no.
[Mac reads a CD cover.]
MacGyver: This is your friend? Itzak Zimmer?
Lulu: Yeah. I know he's famous, but to me, he's just Izzy. We met in line at a movie. I run errands for him in exchange for violin lessons.
Lulu: I'm Lulu.
Lulu: What's your first name?
MacGyver: My friends just call me MacGyver.
Lulu: That bad, huh? That's okay. My real name's Alice.
Lulu: Are you married, MacGyver?
MacGyver: Ah . . . no. You?
Lulu: Not that I know of.
Lulu: How old are you?
Lulu: Thirty-nine, you've never been married?
Lulu: So, that tells me one of two things: either you got a fear of commitment, or you got a fear of commitment.
Lulu: Besides, how often do you get to meet two incredible people in one day?
MacGyver: Well, to be honest with you, one is plenty.
"Thirty-nine, huh? Did you know that Mozart was only thirty-five when he died?" Lulu, giving Mac some perspective
"Leave him alone. That's my husband." Lulu, stopping Tubbs from shooting Mac
Lulu: I don't believe this. Why Izzy? And who were those guys? And what's this Amadeus thing all about anyway?
MacGyver: "Husband." What's that all about?
MacGyver: These are dangerous people we're dealing with.
Lulu: Well, sounds like you've been in a few of these scrapes before.
MacGyver: Uh . . . yeah, one or two.
MacGyver: We forgot the door!
Lulu: That's okay. The cops'll lock it.
MacGyver: Maybe you stole the wrong thing.
Lulu: I resent that. I have never stolen the wrong thing.
MacGyver: That's reassuring . . .
Lulu: Stradivari was the Rembrandt of violin makers. If this is real, Izzy found a three hundred year old Stradivarius in a flea market.
MacGyver: Were most famous violins named after their owners?
Lulu: Yeah: Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
Lulu: Mozart's lost Strad. Complete with documents. It's worth millions! No wonder those sleazoids wanted to get their hands on it.
MacGyver: I didn't know you could play like that.
Lulu: Neither did I.
MacGyver: So, what's the occasion here?
Lulu: How should I know?
MacGyver: Well, I thought it was your party.
Lulu: Actually, I found the invitation at an automatic teller machine. It sounded like fun!
Lulu: A toast. May the Eastern Europe of our hearts find freedom in the nineties.
MacGyver: You're subtle, Lulu.
Lulu: I like you, too.
Lulu: Have you ever been in love? I mean really in love?
MacGyver: Yeah. Once.
Lulu: Me, too. Almost got married.
MacGyver: Why didn't you?
Lulu: Why didn't you?
MacGyver: Well, it's . . . I mean, it's kind of . . .
MacGyver: I told you, my friends call me MacGyver.
Lulu: Yeah, but it's not like Sting, or Prince, or something. You've got another first name, right?
[She looks at his ID.]
Lulu: That's your first name?
MacGyver: Yeah. So?
Lulu: So I think I'll call you MacGyver.
"If only Lulu were here. She'd think of some crazy way to get us out." Izzy, to Mac
"Wait! I just realized why you're doing this. It's because your mother was a cafeteria lady, right?" Lulu, to Tubbs
Lulu: Oh, the humiliation. And now you're finally paying her back. Gestalt therapy: your mother is the violin. I mean, just look at the way you're holding that thing!
"If you meet any babes that might be interested in a healthy kind of guy, let me know." Wilt, to Mac right before Lulu drives up