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The Legend of the Holy Rose (Part 1)

Original Air Date: September 18, 1989
Episode #084

After rescuing a hostage from a Colombian drug cartel, MacGyver returns home for some well-deserved sleep. However, he wakes to find his houseboat adrift in the middle of the bay. A boat pulls up, and the driver greets him; Mac recognizes Zoe Ryan from high school. She pulled this stunt to get his attention. She needs his help to find the holy grail. Back on land, she explains as they go to her office at the college. She's a professor of archaeology, and she claims to have the find of a lifetime. Arriving at Zoe's office, Mac is punched by a fleeing thief. Zoe says that the man was one of Erich Von Leer's goons. Unknown to Zoe, Von Leer was the one who financed her last dig. After Zoe returned with her find, Von Leer wanted to fund another trip, but Zoe turned him down because she didn't want him to be able to control her. This angered the dean, who pulled the plug on the project. Zoe says that Von Leer is now trying to steal her find. Searching the mess in her office, Zoe learns that the thief didn't get her artifact. Having heard enough, Mac starts to leave, but Zoe says that she doesn't have anyone else. She shows him the artifact, Diana's mirror, and he grows interested despite himself. Zoe's colleague, Professor Wycliff, helps fill in the details. A twelfth century alchemist named Ambrose is said to have stored the holy grail and other relics in a secret temple, the temple of the holy rose. Three artifacts are needed to find the temple: Diana's mirror, the scepter of the triple deity, and the holy rose. Zoe believes that finding the temple could lead to a scholastic revolution that could literally change the world. Diana's mirror points the way to the second artifact, and Mac and Zoe travel to London in search of a certain abbey. At the abbey, they soon locate three scepters. Unfortunately, Von Leer and his goons arrive. Von Leer orders one to shoot Mac, but Zoe threatens to smash the scepters. Von Leer opts to tie Mac to a replica of an old torture device with a blade that swings increasingly closer to him. Zoe steps away from the scepters, telling Von Leer to set Mac free. Von Leer's goons collect the artifacts, and one grabs Zoe and takes her out the door. Von Leer taunts Mac a bit before following the others out as the blade continues to swing closer to Mac.


Quotes

"Don't get your hopes up, Mr. Shannon. It seems no one in your country wants you back." Escobar, to Shannon who was watching the helicopter land

Escobar: Why would anybody send me a hot tub?
Pilot: Maybe the bosses thought it would keep you happy.
Escobar: I think the bosses spend too much time in California.

Shannon: You DEA?
MacGyver: No. Phoenix Foundation. We find we don't have to cut through as much red tape to do this sort of thing.

Shannon: I guess we're just going to have to wait another ten days.
MacGyver: I don't think you - or my makeup - will last that long.

Shannon: Can we discuss this?
MacGyver: Mm ... no. You don't want to know.

"Oh, and duct tape. Lots of duct tape." Mac, giving Shannon a list of what he needs

Shannon: You know what I think? I think you're crazy.
MacGyver: Give me a few hours. You'll know for sure.

Shannon: It will never fly!
MacGyver: You don't know that!

MacGyver: Pete, you wanna tap into some of your other agents for the next month or two? I'm about to take a very long nap . . .

Zoe: Do you remember what Jack Dalton always used to say when we were kids in the neighborhood? "If you want MacGyver's help, first you have to get his full and undivided attention."

MacGyver: You are completely out of it!
Zoe: And you haven't changed a bit. You always used to say stuff like that to me.
MacGyver: That's because you were always a pest!

MacGyver: Just tell me what you want me to do!
Zoe: Help me find the holy grail.
MacGyver: Indiana Jones already did that. I saw the movie.
Zoe: MacGyver, be serious.
MacGyver: You be serious.
Zoe: I am.

"Why do I get the feeling that being your friend could be dangerous?" Mac, to Zoe

MacGyver: Why would this Von Leer be so interested in . . . whatever you're looking for?
Zoe: It's kinda complicated.
MacGyver: Zoe, everything about you is complicated. Try me.

Zoe: Where are you going?
MacGyver: Home.
Zoe: Are you alright?
MacGyver: No. But I'll take my chances. And should you choose to set me adrift at sea once again, so be it! I'll still be a lot better off than I am right now.

Zoe: I don't have anyone else.
MacGyver: Zoe! Is it any wonder?! Did anyone ever tell you that you operate about fifteen degrees off-center?
Zoe: I'm misunderstood sometimes.

"I for sure did not misunderstand my houseboat ending up in the middle of the bay." Mac, shooting down Zoe's claim

MacGyver: What temple?
Wycliff: I believe Zoe is speaking of the temple of the holy rose. It's the resting place of the cauldron of regeneration, otherwise known as the holy grail.

MacGyver: Why me?
Zoe: Because when I think of all the brilliant things that Ambrose did to protect what was good and decent . . . he reminds me of you. So what better person to help solve this mystery?
Wycliff: That's quite a compliment, Mr. MacGyver.
MacGyver (skeptical): Or quite a snow job.

Zoe: The find of a lifetime is out there waiting for us and you want to ding around with personal comforts?
MacGyver: It's been waiting eight hundred years; I don't think another day's gonna matter.

"Well, I'll betcha old Ambrose never expected this." Mac, after seeing that the abbey is now a museum for instruments of torture

"Start thinking like your ancient counterpart." Zoe, to Mac

"When it's all over, he'll be half the man he was." Von Leer, punning about the swinging blade


The Legend of the Holy Rose (Part 2)

Original Air Date: September 25, 1989
Episode #085

Picking up where the previous episode ended, MacGyver is trapped on an old torture device with a large swinging blade being lowered toward him. He stops the lowering mechanism with a strategic kick of his shoe. Later, he arrives at Von Leer's estate, where Mac's archaeologist friend Zoe Ryan is being held captive. Mac frees Zoe and explains that he followed her colleague Professor Wycliff. Zoe refuses to leave without the artifacts, knowing that Wycliff will be translating the inscriptions in an effort to find the temple of the holy rose. After a number of setbacks, Mac gets the relics, and he and Zoe escape to their car. Zoe says that according to the translations, the holy rose can be found near Cherbourg, France. Wycliff comes to the same realization, and Von Leer's group also sets out for Cherbourg. From their small plane, Mac and Zoe see their destination: a ring of large rocks. Further investigation reveals the holy rose, which is a very large ruby. Using the objects, the entry to a secret chamber is opened. Inside the chamber, Mac and Zoe find a model of a temple, which is the temple of the holy rose. Inside the temple, Mac finds a bowl filled with a sandy red substance: the holy grail. At this point, Von Leer and his men arrive. One of them, Shiva, takes the bowl. Von Leer demands that the bowl be brought to him; Shiva thanks Von Leer for financing his group's efforts to find the Red Earth - and then Shiva shoots Von Leer. Von Leer's guard shoots Shiva, who flees from the cave with the bowl. The wounded Von Leer goes after Shiva, who empties the bowl of its contents before collapsing on the ground, dead. Mac and Zoe escape from Von Leer's goon, but Von Leer pulls a gun on them outside the chamber. He's about to shoot when the sun comes out, activating the device made from the assembled artifacts, and it zaps Von Leer back into the opening, which caves in and seals the entrance. Zoe decides that maybe the world wasn't ready for the changes that the items from the chamber would have brought.


Quotes

Eunice: Here you go, luv. A traditional English breakfast.
Zoe: Cold toast, runny eggs and prune juice? Swell.
Eunice: Ungrateful little wretch is what you are. I'd say you better eat up. Could be your last meal, you know.

"I want hot toast with butter, scrambled eggs, and orange juice. Fresh-squeezed orange juice." Zoe, distracting the guard by ordering breakfast

Zoe: You could've been killed.
MacGyver: Never thought I'd owe my life to a traditional English breakfast.

Zoe: Wycliff? Of course. He's got to be the reason they knew we were going to be at the abbey. You figured that out. Sure. Then you made a few phone calls and found out that he was flying to London, probably on the Concorde - and they can only land at Heathrow. So you hung out at the airport, he showed up, you followed him. And that's that.
MacGyver: Like fallin' off a log.

Zoe: How did you get out from under the big blade?
MacGyver: Uh . . . fancy footwork.

MacGyver: Study have a fireplace?
Zoe: It does. Why?
MacGyver: I'm afraid I have an idea . . .

"You mean he's not dead?" Eunice, catching on after Von Leer says that MacGyver has got the artifacts

MacGyver: You don't have to talk me into anything.
Zoe: I don't?
MacGyver: No. Because it's quite obvious what we have to do now is find the holy rose that'll lead to the temple, so you can put the artifacts together and start teaching the world what it's like to be a human again, right? Right.
Zoe: Yes!

MacGyver: You know, Zoe . . . you're talking about changing a whole lot of this world as we know it. I hope you're not too disappointed if it doesn't happen.

Zoe: Ring of rocks? That's it! "Ring Around the Rosy." It's a Mummer's ritual. "Pocketful of posies" refers to a cave full of flowers, and "all fall down" is the Grim Reaper bringing an end to the fertility season.

"Perform the ritual of the rose and it will be revealed." Zoe, reciting the scepter inscription

Zoe: The Ambrose legend says that the casket of gold holds the flower of the gods.

MacGyver: What's the next step?
Zoe: "Then look beyond the open petals and seek the sacred stone, there to find the message of the goddess and the key to the temple."

Zoe: "Rest Diana's mirror upon the sacred tree. When the garment of the great goddess covers the holy rose, the power of the trinity will open the world and give birth to a new beginning."

MacGyver: What would represent the "garment of the great goddess"?
Zoe: It's an ancient reference to the sun.

Zoe: What do you think?
MacGyver: I think myths and dreams come from the same place.

Zoe: I have a feeling deep down that Ambrose wanted that cave sealed. Maybe he thinks the world's not ready to start turning that corner.

MacGyver: You still have this.
Zoe: One artifact.
MacGyver: Gotta start somewhere.

Zoe: That red stuff in here. What do you think? It was, uh--
MacGyver: Nope.
Zoe: No? Then what?
MacGyver: Eight hundred years of dust.
Zoe: What about that cloud moving just in the nick of time? What do you think about that?
MacGyver: I think someone was on our side.
Zoe: Yeah. Me, too.


The Black Corsage

Original Air Date: October 2, 1989
Episode #086

At a deserted fun park, three men - Deegan, March, and Reynolds - meet, each with a piece of a map. When Deegan reaches for a gun, Reynolds runs, but Deegan shoots him. Reynolds bumps into Sophia Ross, who wound up at the park by chasing her dog, Frog. Seeing Deegan and March coming toward her, Sophia flees. Reynolds collapses, and Deegan and March realize that Sophia has the last piece of the map. Sophia stops at a phone booth and calls Pete Thornton, but her pursuers shoot. She runs, dropping her purse. Later, Pete tells MacGyver that the Bulgarians must be after Sophia, a defector. Someone finds Frog's collar and sees Sophia's address on the tag. Finding nothing at Sophia's apartment, Deegan and March see her ID badge and head for the Phoenix Foundation. Not much later, Mac finds Frog waiting outside Sophia's apartment. Inside, Mac opens a door and someone cuffs his hands behind his back. Turning around, Mac recognizes Frank Colton, brother of bounty hunter Jesse Colton. Frank is after Deegan. Joining Mac in the search for Sophia, Frank explains that Deegan and three other computer geniuses stole the Black Corsage, a huge black pearl with a jeweled sash that is worth a fortune. The thief that hid the Corsage was caught, but he sent pieces of a map to his cohorts. Meanwhile, looking for change for a phone, Sophia finds the map in her pocket. After tapping Pete's phone, March and Deegan listen as Pete sends Sophia to a nearby diner to wait for pickup. At the diner, Sophia sees Deegan enter, so she sneaks out the back door. Mac arrives, and Deegan recognizes him from a picture in Sophia's purse. March and Deegan watch Mac and Frank follow Frog, who takes off after catching Sophia's scent. Mac and Frank find Sophia hiding in a fish cannery, but Deegan and March are right behind them. March raises his gun to shoot Frog; Frank moves to stop him and is shot in the shoulder by Deegan. Frog runs off. After Deegan threatens to shoot Mac and Frank, who are tied up on a conveyor belt, Sophia agrees to take them to the map. Before leaving, Deegan turns on the conveyor, which carries Mac and Frank toward a series of moving blades. Frog reappears and steps on a switch that routes Frank and Mac away from the blades into a large container of fish. They get free from their ropes and head for Expo Park, where they watch as Deegan and March find the Black Corsage. Mac creates a diversion, Frank punches March, and Mac grabs the Corsage and runs. Deegan follows. Mac creates a trap, which knocks Deegan to the ground. Mac kicks the gun away and gets ready to fight, but Frank appears and handcuffs Deegan's hands behind his back. Later, Sophia is about to move on to a new identity, so she has to leave Frog behind. Frank agrees to take the dog, who seems pleased with the new arrangement.


Quotes

"Did you forget your key?" Mac, to Frog, who is waiting outside Sophia's door

"End of the road, Jack." Frank Colton, cuffing Mac

MacGyver: I thought your brother was the bounty hunter in the family.
Frank: Hey, I taught him everything he knows. Besides, he's still pickin' coconuts in Hawaii. I took over his files.
MacGyver: What do "files" have to do with this?
Frank: I can't tell you that. Who's the girl?
MacGyver: Can't tell you that.
Frank: Glad we understand each other.

Frank: I guess I won't tell you about the map.
[Mac moves the truck in reverse, but he pulls forward to talk to Frank.]
MacGyver: What map?
Frank: Oh, nothing . . .
MacGyver: Get in.

Frank: That's the ugliest dang dog I've ever seen in my life.

"If the security on this line is any indication . . . we're dealing with a well-kept secret." March, to Deegan, about Sophia

Frank: Deegan and March.
MacGyver: I don't remember you mentioning any March.
Frank: I don't remember you mentioning any Sophia.

Frank: Now let me get this straight: there's nothin' in it for you.
MacGyver: Like what?
Frank: All you want to do is help this girl?
MacGyver: Yeah.

Frank: You ever heard of the Black Corsage? Originally owned by Cleopatra. One of the largest black pearls in the world. Set in blue and yellow diamonds, three thousand to be exact. You could buy a small African nation with this thing.

MacGyver: So her being in Expo Park was just an accident. It was a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Frank: Yeah. Unfortunately, I've got the feeling that Deegan ain't into irony.

MacGyver: Alright, Colton, why are you into this? I mean, there's no bail money involved.
Frank: Same as you! I'm doin' it to help people. For the good of mankind. Those jewels belong in a museum.
MacGyver: The insurance company didn't, by any chance, put up a reward . . .
Frank: Well, yeah. A little one.
MacGyver: How little?
Frank: Ninety thousand.

MacGyver: This is a secure pickup; anybody but me shows up, she's gone. Now, stay.
[Mac walks off, and Frank glares after him.]
Frank: "Stay"? Spy stuff. Sheesh.

Waitress: Help ya, handsome?
MacGyver: Yeah, I'm looking for a girl.
Waitress (smoothing her hair): Must be my lucky day.

"No way, Slick. He's a Frog, not a bloodhound." Frank, after Mac chases Frank, who runs off following Sophia's trail

Frank: I've chased some mean and ugly things in my life, but a dog?

"Poor girl. Doesn't stand a chance in this country." Deegan, after Sophia believes his promise to not hurt Mac and Frank

"So long, Slick. It's been real." Frank, to Mac as they are about to be sliced and diced

Sophia: But my friends. You gave your word.
Deegan: Lady, you've got a lot to learn about the English language.

"End of the road, Jack." Frank, cuffing Deegan

MacGyver: I guess that makes you a wealthy man. You've probably got enough now to join your brother Jesse in Hawaii.
Frank: No way, Slick. The desert's more my speed. No fish.

MacGyver (about Frog): Well, I don't want him.
[Mac turns to Pete.]
MacGyver: Do you?
Pete: Me? No, no, no . . . It's too ugly. Besides, it's always scratching and drooling.
MacGyver: Drools a lot.

"Are you guys trying to con a con?" Frank, realizing that Mac and Pete want him to take Frog

Frank: What do you say, boy? You want to come home with Uncle Frank?
[Frog's only response is to look away.]
MacGyver: I don't think he understands you, "Uncle Frank." Try to be yourself.
[Pete gives Frank the leash.]

"Alright you lousy, no-good excuse for a dog. Get your ugly mug in the car." Frank, to Frog who takes off, pulling Frank along


Cease Fire

Original Air Date: October 9, 1989
Episode #087

In Geneva, Switzerland, MacGyver and Pete Thornton participate in the efforts to negotiate a peace treaty between the Republic of Azmir and the country of Samadia. Mac brings the Azmirs' latest offer to President Habad of Samadia. Despite urging from Yanif, the Minister of Defense, Habad agrees to sign the treaty. As the group steps out to the terrace for lunch, Mac watches Yanif speak privately to a man who pulls a case from a nearby car. Mac follows the man into the brush, where Mac thwarts the man's attempt to shoot Habad. Another of Yanif's men arrives and knocks Mac out. Yanif joins them. He plans to frame Mac as the shooter, but Mac runs. The men follow. When Mac stops at the top of a steep slope, Yanif shoots him, and Mac tumbles down. Yanif and his men report that Mac is dead, but when they return with Pete and the Swiss Police, there is no body. Pete wants to join in the search for Mac, but Habad insists that Pete continue with work on the treaty. Meanwhile, the wounded Mac staggers into the brush near a school for girls. When a student named Lisa sits nearby, Mac calls to her. Although startled, she listens as he explains what happened. She agrees to retrieve a first aid kit for him from the nurse's office. Since Yanif and the police are there to search the school grounds, Lisa sends Mac to hide in the boat house. Lisa gets the first aid kit and joins Mac. When Yanif and his men arrive at the boat house, Lisa distracts them by offering to show them where she saw a mysterious man. Mac works to repair the motor on a boat. Lisa overhears Yanif and his men talk about a bomb and President Habad; Yanif becomes suspicious of Lisa who runs back to the boat house. Mac starts the motor, Lisa jumps in, and they dart out into the river away from Yanif's men. Lisa tells Mac what she heard about the bomb. They arrive at the hotel right after Pete leaves with Habad. Mac sends Lisa to tell the Swiss Police what she heard, and he hurries to the location for the peace talk. Pete and Habad board a cable car that will carry them to the mountain summit. As the tram starts off, Mac sees the bomb under the car. Taking a shortcut, he climbs up one of the supports and drops onto the car. Assisted by the others, he cuts the bomb free, and it explodes in midair. Later, Mac meets Lisa on the hotel terrace. She says that her parents have arrived, and they're negotiating a "cease fire."


Quotes

[The tram operator questions Mac.]
Danielle: Why is the Phoenix Foundation running the peace talk? Why not the United Nations?
MacGyver: Well, sometimes a private organization can come up with a . . . fresh approach. Kinda cut through all the red tape.
Danielle: So, the Phoenix Foundation asked you to be part of negotiating a settlement?
MacGyver: Sort of. I volunteered.

Danielle: Do all my questions bother you?
MacGyver: No. If they stopped, I'd worry.

Danielle: I'd really like to have a job like yours. I mean, I'd like to do something important for peace, some day.
MacGyver: Well, Danielle, you are. Consider what you're doing as . . . shuttle diplomacy.

"Yanif thinks peace comes from the barrel of a gun." Mac, about the Samadian Minister of Defense

"Perhaps it is time to risk peace." Habad, to Yanif

MacGyver: Aren't you taking your differences with Habad a little far?
Yanif: Habad's decision proves he's too weak to lead us any more.

Yanif: He used this gun.
Pete: No way. Not a chance. MacGyver never fired a gun at anyone in his life.

Pete: That makes no sense. MacGyver is not an assassin.
Yanif: He's been meeting on the mountain with the Azmirs all week. They must have paid him - or even blackmailed him - to do this.
Pete: Absolutely out of the question.

Lisa: I know. My parents are getting a divorce . . . I guess I didn't help. I got on their nerves a lot. I'm pretty demanding, you know. Sending me away to school didn't help them sort things out, either. It just cost them a lot of money.

Lisa: You need a doctor.
MacGyver: Yeah, I think you're right. Do you know any that make house calls out this way?

[Mac asks for Lisa's help.]
Lisa: I'm not the right person, really. I never know what I'm doing . . .
MacGyver: Says who?
Lisa: Well, you know. Everybody.
MacGyver: Well, everybody used to say the world was flat, too.

"You can do anything you want to do if you put your mind to it." Mac, giving Lisa some good advice

MacGyver: Please. I really need your help.
Lisa: But what if I'm caught? What if they stop me?
MacGyver: Then at least you tried.

MacGyver: I'm kinda lucky you were around today.
Lisa: It's Parents' Day. I'm always around on Parents' Day. Mine never make it.

MacGyver: If you've got something to say, you should say it, or it's just going to tear you up inside.
Lisa: I think their divorce is taking the easy way out. It's like sweeping dirt under the rug. They're not dealing with the dirt; they're just moving it around.

"You can't just talk about your problems: you have to look for solutions." Lisa, with something Mac might have said

Lisa: How do you come up with this stuff?
MacGyver: Oh, the stuff's already here. I just find a different way to use it.

MacGyver: You do understand you could've been killed!
Lisa: I know, but I never had so much fun!

Danielle: What is it?
Pete: He's got a thing about heights.

"It's got a lot of different blades." Danielle, after loaning Mac her SAK

"I told them what I told you, and I've got them to sit down at the same table. It's a start." Lisa, to Mac about her parents


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