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MacGyver Quotes

A few of the more memorable lines by Mac and company.


MacGyver Quotes - Season One

"The bag's not for what I take, Colson - it's for what I find along the way." MacGyver (Pilot)

"You may not believe this, but there have been times when I've had a lot more fun in the back seat of a car." - MacGyver (Golden Triangle)

"Typical. Just when you're getting ahead, someone changes the odds." - MacGyver (Pegasus)

"Some people are scared of anybody who runs free." - MacGyver (Thief of Budapest)

"The great thing about a map: it gets you in and out of places in a lot different ways." - MacGyver (The Gauntlet)

"Mostly I like to see how the world works. Meet people. Learn how they're different - and the same." - MacGyver, on why he moves around so much (The Gauntlet)

"I've found from past experiences that the tighter your plan, the more likely you are to run into something unpredictable." - MacGyver (The Heist)

"That's when I usually get a call; when someone's in trouble and needs some rescuing." - MacGyver (Trumbo's World)

"I think I should get an unlisted phone number." - MacGyver (Trumbo's World)

"It's a little recipe I use in emergencies." - MacGyver, explaining the fertilizer bomb he's making (Last Stand)

"Some people say that there are no more frontiers left for us to conquer. But then again, some people still go out into the wilderness in search of their dream." - MacGyver (Hellfire)

"Now, technically I'm driving a stolen car, following a kidnapping ... and I still haven't had my first cup of coffee." - MacGyver (The Prodigal)

"Enough is enough. I will not, under any circumstances, for any reason whatsoever answer the phone ... probably ... again." - MacGyver (Target MacGyver)

"It's a known fact that eighty decibels of rushing water is one of the most pleasing sounds known to mankind. On other hand, ten and a half days at sea is enough water for anybody." - MacGyver (Nightmares)

"Ah, yes, that's the handyman side of MacGyver; he likes to make clever little things out of odd bits." Quayle (Deathlock)

"The past is a strange country. You go back; it doesn't recognize you." - MacGyver (Flame's End)

"I had this contract with Pete Thornton's outfit that says I take only those jobs I wanna take. Now, you'd think I'd say 'no' once in a while." - MacGyver (Countdown)

"This man's idea of black tie is a dirty shoelace. Definitely not into formality." Bannister, about - MacGyver (The Enemy Within)

"I'll tell you what's simple. Me! For gettin' into that first conversation with Penny Parker ... But what else could I do? I mean, a guy just can't be ... rude." Mac, realizing why one should not talk to strangers (Every Time She Smiles)

"One of the problems of flying a jet is that you don't have a lot of time to admire the scenery." - MacGyver (To Be a Man)

"Everybody makes mistakes once in a while. The trick is learning to live with it." - MacGyver (Ugly Duckling)

"Another day, a whole 'nother set of fresh possibilities ... I'm a sucker for mornings." - MacGyver (Slow Death)

"Maybe it's about time I expanded the realm of possibilities around here." - MacGyver (The Escape)

"Pete, we're friends. If you got troubles, I got troubles." - MacGyver (A Prisoner of Conscience)

"We're all gonna die. The trick is not to rush it." - MacGyver (The Assassin)


MacGyver Quotes - Season Two

"I say we trust our instincts, go with our gut. You can't program that. That's our edge." - MacGyver (The Human Factor)

"Put twelve guys carrying sticks in an enclosed area and sooner or later ... men will be boys." - MacGyver (The Eraser)

"Linda, sweetheart, the car will go now; I suggest you go with it." - MacGyver (The Eraser)

"Little dirt never hurt anybody." - MacGyver (Twice Stung)

"Old Minnesota wisdom: if you don't wanna be touched, look downright untouchable." - MacGyver (The Wish Child)

"First impressions are very important. And with this group, I knew it'd be critical. So I decided to make a grand entrance ... through their noses." - MacGyver (Final Approach)

"Drugs, blackmail, corrupt police ... sounds like a bad TV show." - Jack Dalton (Jack of Lies)

"Well, when it comes down to me against a situation, I don't like the situation to win." - MacGyver (The Road Not Taken)

"I guess the way you look at the world depends on where you are. From up here it looked like a pretty nice place." - MacGyver (Eagles)

"I learned something a long time ago: never laugh at what you don't know." - MacGyver (Silent World)

"A good relationship is alot like a car. If you want it to work smoothly, you gotta put alot of work into it, and have the right tools." - MacGyver (Three for the Road)

"When I was about ten, I got my first chemistry set. I've been a beaker-and-test-tube nut ever since." - MacGyver (Phoenix Under Siege)

"We heard an explosion, that's all. MacGyver is damn hard to kill." Pete (Family Matter)

"I'm an actress; it's my job to study people." - Penny Parker (Soft Touch)

"I think if you try hard enough and make the best of a situation, the situation won't get the best of you." - MacGyver (Birth Day)

"You know, you guys are missin' out on a great deal, if you kill me. I can help you. See, I'm kind of an expert with just about everything ... " - MacGyver (Pirates)

"If you don't have the right equipment for the job, you just have to make it yourself." - MacGyver (Out in the Cold)

"All right, Jack. Let's have it! Who have you cheated, swindled or robbed this time?" - MacGyver (Dalton, Jack of Spies)

"Do you remember what Mark Twain once said? The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated." - Murdoc (Partners)

"Sometimes I just hate it when I'm right." - MacGyver (Bushmaster)

"When I was a kid, my grandfather used to say to me that ... a fellow's life wasn't worth mentioning if he hadn't shared it with some folks along the way." - MacGyver (Friends)

"For the past seven years I have done nothing but travel around the world getting shot up, locked up, blown up ... and all I have to show for it are a couple of empty rolls of duct tape." - MacGyver (Friends)

"His name is MacGyver; he can fix anything." - Pete (D.O.A.: MacGyver)

"It's kinda interesting how you can put one thing with another and cook up the right formula for stayin' out of trouble." - MacGyver (For Love or Money)


MacGyver Quotes - Season Three

"MacGyver is kind of a ... troubleshooter." - Pete (Lost Love)

"Growin' up fifteen hundred miles away from the ocean, you hardly ever get a really good sea breeze." - MacGyver (Back from the Dead)

"One of my biggest problems is I can never leave a puzzle alone." - MacGyver (Ghost Ship)

A man once said, "When you make a friend, you take on a responsibility." - MacGyver (Fire and Ice)

"Alright, my German's not so good; we got through, didn't we?" - MacGyver (GX-1)

"Four days on a rowboat with wet pants - ugh! I've got mosquito bites on top of my mosquito bites." - Pete (Jack in the Box)

"All those women in your life and you never learned a thing, did you." - Mike, to MacGyver (The Widowmaker)

"Come and see the next generation in action. You can be depressed along with me." Professor Ryman (Hell Week)

"I'm a professional, and you make up stuff as you go along." - Nikki, to MacGyver (Blow Out)

"I'm going to develop an organism that eats red tape." - Dr. Millhouse (Kill Zone)

"I've got a great idea. Why don't we quit while I'm winning?" - Pete (Early Retirement)

"There always seems to be a way to fix things." - MacGyver (Thin Ice)

"You can do a lot in a year." - MacGyver (The Odd Triple)

"Thanks for wearing a shirt and tie. Looks great! Can't talk you into a haircut, can I?" Pete, to Mac (The Negotiator)

"We've got a pretty good planet here, as planets go. The trouble is, we're lettin' it go down the drain in too many places." - MacGyver (The Spoilers)

"What is it? You don't like eggs with chocolate sauce?" - Jack (Mask of the Wolf)

"Where did you learn to diaper a baby, in a fish market?" - Pete, to Mac and Jack (Rock the Cradle)

"There's a fine line in nature that divides the hunter from the hunted." - MacGyver (The Endangered)

"In my grandfather's country, they say a man should not live under the same sky as his father's murderers." - Luke (Murderer's Sky)


MacGyver Quotes - Season Four

"That would sound a lot more reassuring if you weren't holding a human skull." - Penny (The Secret of Parker House)

"It never stops there, Danny! You got a gun; things happen. People die!" - MacGyver (Blood Brothers)

"My Jeep went over a cliff, I died ... and went to Thanksgiving?" - MacGyver (The Outsiders)

"I can be a low-key kind of guy. You've seen me unconscious before, haven't you?" - Jack (On a Wing and a Prayer)

"It takes nerves to win, MacGyver. You lost yours, remember?" - Hans Visser (Collison Course)

"I call it an obstacle course. Some of the others call it MacGyver-land." - MacGyver (The Survivors)

"So, what now? Back to your, uh, test tubes, or whatever you guys do?" - Wyatt, to MacGyver (Deadly Dreams)

"Mothers. Sometimes they're more trouble than they're worth, ya know?" - Jack (Ma Dalton)

"I was a little slow coming out of the esophagus." - Penny Parker (Cleo Rocks)

"I've got to know whether this involves something I can sleep with." - MacGyver (Fraternity of Thieves)

"The wrong number really messes with my polarity." - Mary Ruth (The Battle of Tommy Giordano)

"I'm told kids like me once they get to know me." - MacGyver (The Challenge)

"I know about people who live on houseboats. They like to drift around." - Crystal (Runners)

"That is what I've always admired about you. The way you ... never let go of something worthwhile." Natalie, to Mac (Gold Rush)

"You know, one of these days you're gonna wake up dead if you don't learn to relax." Tony (The Invisible Killer)

"Drinking? Moi? MacGyver, you wound me." Jack (Brainwashed)

"It's occurred to me that some friendships are like a good game of hockey. The right balance of teamwork and smooth skating generally adds up to a winning combination." MacGyver (Easy Target)

"What are you doing here, Commander? Doesn't the Navy have a form letter for a situation like this?" Marie (Renegade)

"You know, this may come as a shock to you, Jack, but most people go out and work for a living, instead of dragging their friends from one disaster to another." MacGyver (Unfinished Business)


MacGyver Quotes - Season Five

"Pete, you wanna tap into some of your other agents for the next month or two? I'm about to take a very long nap." - MacGyver (The Legend of the Holy Rose, Part I)

"Never thought I'd owe my life to a traditional English breakfast." - MacGyver (The Legend of the Holy Rose, Part II)

"Now let me get this straight: there's nothin' in it for you." - Frank Colton, to Mac (The Black Corsage)

"You can't just talk about your problems: you have to look for solutions." - Lisa (Cease Fire)

"Hey, I don't blame you for being angry, but you've got to learn to overcome it." - Jesse (Second Chance)

"You know, MacGyver, that's why you're so hard to beat. Nobody knows what you're going to do next. Including you." - Murdoc (Halloween Knights)

"This might sound ridiculous, but hang on!" - Mac, to Mei Jan as they are about to slide off the roof to safety (Children of Light)

"Be careful, Sir. Africa is like a sleeping lion: very beautiful ... when left alone."- Mabuto, to Mac (Black Rhino)

"Changing your name, you can do. But changing who you are ... This you can never do." - Sam (The Ten Percent Solution)

"Look, if you had as much talent as you have mouth, you would just begin to be the kind of star you think you are." - Eve (Two Times Trouble)

"I think Santa's giving me a hernia for Christmas." - Pete (The Madonna)

"He don't drink, he don't fight, and he don't carry a gun. I bet he's wearin' lace underwear." - Wilt, about Mac (Serenity)

"Sometimes things are hidden under the surface. You just gotta know how to bring 'em out." - Mac (Live and Learn)

"I ain't got time for this sheep dip." - Braddock (Log Jam)

"We're four hundred years too late." - Maria (The Treasure of Manco)

"Okay, okay, you got me. Just no stabbing, or shooting... . Nothing that hurts." - Jack (Jenny's Chance)

"Love. Sure does affect productivity." - Pete (Deep Cover)

"That's your problem, MacGyver. Not enough excitement in your life." - Wilt Bozer (The Lost Amadeus)

"We all get our priorities messed up once in a while." - MacGyver (Hearts of Steel)

"What is it with you people? Why are you so afraid of going after the truth?" - MacGyver (Rush to Judgement)

"Love's not ... some bill to be paid on holidays and weekends, Bud. You want to let somebody know you care, you can do it when they're not around." - Harry (Passages)


MacGyver Quotes - Season Six

"Discipline's only a crime when it's enforced by somebody with the sensitivity and judgment of a rock." - MacGyver (Tough Boys)

"Bold and nosy. I'm famous for that." - MacGyver (Tough Boys)

"I do something nice for you, you do something nice for me - like not kill me." - MacGyver (Humanity)

"Don't thank me. I was born a warm and wonderful human being." - Pete (The Gun)

"You're the only American I know, MacGyver ... and I think maybe the only one I want to know." - Maria (The Wall)

"Do you actually think you're qualified to judge what is evil?" - Dr. Zito, to Mac (Lesson in Evil)

"Tell me something: how could a million bucks be immoral?" - Cody (Harry's Will)

"[Men] get seriously disturbed about using dirty words. Like love." - Jenny (MacGyver's Women)

"Some day I'll learn to drive on the Interstates." - MacGyver (Bitter Harvest)

"A good salesman always manages to be where he's needed the most." - Phil (The Visitor)

"I don't have time to wreak havoc right now." - MacGyver (Squeeze Play)

"I'm not trying to be mysterious about it, it's just that what I do is tough to explain." - MacGyver (Jerico Games)

"I think you're like a lot of people. You can't see the trees because you're too busy cuttin' down the forest." - MacGyver (The Wasteland)

"There are some things that are better left buried." - archaeologist Professor Ashburn, (Eye of Osiris)

"Mixin' stuff." - MacGyver's response to "What are you doing?" (High Control)

"He always used to say, 'There are no great things to be accomplished in this life, just small things done with great love.'" - Rachel (There but For the Grace)

"You sure seem to have of lot of information for not being involved." - MacGyver (Blind Faith)

"The man's a walking accident!" Faith, about Mac (Faith, Hope & Charity)

"Better death through chemistry: that's what I always say." - Murdoc (Strictly Business)

"My hat is off to you, Mr. Samuels. You have found the one treaty in all the world, in all of time, that someone actually wants to abide by." - Whitecloud (Trail of Tears)

"This is your idea of cheering me up?" - Pete, about Mac's coma story (Hind-Sight)


MacGyver Quotes - Season Seven

"All you fly-by-night dictators are the same... " - MacGyver, goading the bad guy into making a mistake (Honest Abe)

"We don't want to break with policy just because someone's life is in danger!" - Mel, oozing with sarcasm while yelling at Sgt Lee (The 'Hood)

"I'm gonna make you wish you'd never killed me." - Murdoc, to Mac (Obsessed)

"That's not a nice thing to do to a man with a stomach like mine." - Earl, on Mac stopping the bomb with only 3 seconds left on the timer (The Prometheus Syndrome)

"There comes a time when chronological age and wisdom catch up. In our case, that happened when you was about four years old." - Jesse Colton, to his brother Frank (The Coltons)

"With all due respect, Mama, I think the courts will put them away before the spirits do." - MacGyver, to Mama Lorraine (Walking Dead)

"Only a fool is sure of anything, a wise man keeps on guessing." - MacGyver, quoting Harry (The Stringer)


MacGyver Quotes - Miscellaneous

(The following quote was contributed by Kim.)

Pete: Are you sure this is going to work?!
MacGyver: Nope.
(seen in several episodes)

(The rest of the quotes were contributed by Lily.)

"My mother used to make fried chicken. I really loved that fried chicken. Now I'm startin' to feel real sympathetic towards them chickens." -- MacGyver (The Golden Triangle)

"It's really nice to wake up in your own neighborhood, and not have to worry about going to work, no plans. Just being able to ease into the day." -- MacGyver (The Prodigal)

"Now technically I'm driving a stolen car, following a kidnapper, and I haven't even had my first cup of coffee: so much for easing into the day." -- MacGyver (The Prodigal)

"You can tell a lot about someone by the things he keeps on his desk -- provided you can get to his desk," -- MacGyver (The Eraser)

"If this works, it'll keep us from getting' caught. If it doesn't, it'll keep us from gettin' old," -- MacGyver (The Eraser)

"I know I said I was gonna slug him, but how d'you hit a kid?" -- MacGyver (Jack of Lies)

"I don't like being jerked around like a big dog on a short leash." -- MacGyver (Jack of Lies)

"They never said of Jack Dalton that he was unkind to animals." -Jack Dalton (Jack of Lies)

"Multipurpose clerical wear. Something for every occasion - especially for getting out of trouble." -- MacGyver (Jack of Lies)

"Mac, I just have one question about repelling: what happens if the line breaks?" "Ya fall." -Pete and Mac (The Road Not Taken)

"I've always liked being close to nature." -Mac (The Road Not Taken)

"What they don't know, will help us." -Mac (The Road Not Taken)

"It was obviously a dud. The thing was only I knew that." - MacGyver, talking about a land mine (Pirates)

"You boys stay put now, live mines out there." - MacGyver (Pirates)


See Also

More quotes can be found in the episode guide - just pick an episode.


Acknowledgments

Many thanks to the site visitors noted above who have contributed to this page!

If your favorite MacGyver quote isn't listed here, please type it up and send it to me at the address on this page.


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