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Thin Ice

Original Air Date: February 1, 1988
Episode #057

MacGyver returns home to Minnesota to help coach a college hockey team as a favor to one of his own heroes, Turk Donner. The team, the Raiders, is in the championship playoffs, but their star player, Derek Kirby, spends as much time in the penalty box for fighting as he does on the ice. After Derek is ejected from a game for one of his stunts, Mac warns him not to do it again. Derek's dad is incensed, but Brett Thompson, a representative for an NHL team, likes what he saw. Mac visits Coach Turk in the hospital, and the Coach urges Mac to show Derek the way. Mac then asks Mr. Kirby to keep the NHL reps away so that Derek can play for the team, but Mr. Kirby refuses, saying that this is Derek's chance for something better. During the next playoff game, Derek's attempt to show off for the NHL reps results in a fight with another player; during the fight, Derek shoves the guy and he falls unconscious after knocking his head against the goal frame. At the hospital, Derek is stunned to learn that the player, Eddie, may be disabled. Later, Derek's dad insists that what happened wasn't Derek's fault. Mr. Thompson arrives with news that the Mustangs want to sign Derek, but Derek realizes that MacGyver was right: the Mustangs only want him as a hit man on skates. Derek turns down the deal. Derek's dad thinks he is making a mistake; Derek says that he's quitting it all, and Mr. Kirby retorts that he's quitting too. Mac finds Derek in the locker room and says that if he gives up now, he'll always wonder if he could have made it. After some thought, Derek returns to practice with the team. Mac pays another visit to Mr. Kirby and asks him to support his son. During the final playoff game, Derek works as part of the team, and the Raiders win in overtime. More important than that, Derek sees that his father is still there for him.


MacGyver: Like most kids growin' up in Minnesota, I could skate before I could walk. So when my old coach sent a call for help, I jumped at the chance to come home and coach his team through the state championship playoffs.

Coach: I see a little bit of me in the kid, but I also see a whole lot of you, MacGyver. He has what you had when I coached you in high school. All he needs is someone to clear a path for him, to show him the way.

Mr. Kirby: At least it's a chance for something better than this! Right?! Let me tell you something, MacGyver . . . you get in the way of that and, so help me, I'll--
MacGyver: Don't say it, Mr. Kirby. Please. Don't say it.

MacGyver: That's what did it for me: Turk Donner's gold medal, Squaw Valley, 1960. Turk and his team beat the Czechs. I was eight years old, and I can still remember him bringing home that medal. I couldn't wait to get into high school to play for him.

MacGyver: You don't have to bang heads to win.
Derek: You know what it's like to be chosen from four hundred of the best players in the country?
MacGyver: I wish I did.

MacGyver: Doesn't it say something to you when the only team to show any interest in you at all is a team with a fairly bad reputation? You can do better than that, Derek.

Thompson: I didn't haul these Mustang coaches down here to watch you try out for the Ice Capades.
Derek: Look. We can't win with me in the penalty box.
Thompson: Who cares if you win? You're making a fool out of me - and your old man. Now, I want to see some of the hard-nosed hockey that's gonna prove you're Mustang material.

"I'm sorry, Eddie. Nobody was supposed to get hurt." Derek, standing outside Eddie's hospital room

Thompson: If you hadn't come through with the goods in the third, you'd be history. Now, don't push it.
Derek: Wait a minute . . . Are you saying that if I hadn't put Eddie in the hospital, the Mustangs wouldn't have anything to do with me?
Thompson: You're starting to sound like that MacGyver.

Mr. Kirby: You can't just up and throw it all away, son. I mean, you've wanted this your whole life!
Derek: NO! You wanted it!

Derek: What kind of trophy do I get if Eddie dies? I'm finished.

MacGyver: So. When the going gets tough, the tough quit. Is that it, Derek?

Derek: Look, MacGyver, you don't have a clue how I feel.
MacGyver: I know how you're gonna feel about ten or fifteen years down the line.
Derek: What is this? Another pep talk?
MacGyver: Trust me, it's no pep talk.

MacGyver: My injuries were bad enough that I convinced myself that it just wasn't worth it, and I quit. And now every time I lace up my skates and go out on that ice, I've gotta wonder whether I could've made it or not. And you know something, Derek? I'll never find out.

MacGyver: If you quit - that's it. You'll always wonder.

MacGyver: You know, when something's broken, the easiest thing to do is just throw it away, go on, and forget about it . . . But if you just step back and take a look at what you've got, sometimes you find a totally different way of making it work.

Mr. Kirby: That boy has a gift. God-given talent, MacGyver, that could earn him a good living. And he's throwin' it away. I mean, you're worried about one game . . . I'm worried about the rest of my son's life.
MacGyver: The rest of your son's life starts with tonight's game.

"There always seems to be a way to fix things." Mac, making a point for Mr. Kirby

The Odd Triple

Original Air Date: February 29, 1988
Episode #058

Exhausted after his latest mission, MacGyver is not happy to find his friend Jack Dalton waiting at the houseboat for him. Not surprisingly, Jack has a plan: he and Mac fly an heiress named Elena Iturbai back to France in her plane with the jewels she just purchased, and, hopefully, the lady will be persuaded to finance Jack's dream of starting his own airline. Reluctantly, Mac agrees to go. At the airport, two men in suits appear, pointing guns at them. Ms. Iturbai cries, "Thieves!" Mac stops the men and the plane takes off. As the jet starts to land, Ms. Iturbai calls her associate for a pickup; at the airport, a helicopter arrives and takes her away. Moments later, the authorities arrive and arrest Mac and Jack as thieves. At the station, Inspector Andres explains that the real Ms. Iturbai and her flight crew were found tied up in her hotel suite, and the inspector believes that Mac and Jack hired a look-alike to take her place. The men who tried to stop them at the airport were part of Ms. Iturbai's security team. Meanwhile at the Phoenix Foundation, Pete Thornton discovers that Jack has gotten Mac into trouble yet again, so Pete boards a flight to France. Inspector Andres plans to torture Mac and Jack into revealing the location of their accomplice, but they manage to escape. Between something the fake Ms. Iturbai said and the quickness with which the helicopter arrived, Mac traces her to a nearby winery. They climb a fence, but Mac is accidentally caught. Inside, Leann refuses to allow her partner, Mr. Donnay, to hurt Mac, so Donnay locks them both in the wine cellar to be dealt with later. As Jack walks the streets trying to hire some help, he is knocked out by a man who delivers him to Pete. Pete used his former contacts to find them after Inspector Andres warned him against interfering through diplomatic channels. Pete's contact reveals that the last participant in Donnay's auction for the jewels is still at his hotel; Pete and Jack find the guy and knock him out. Pete arrives at the winery posing as the third buyer; he'll bid to buy time while Jack, as his chauffeur, looks for Mac. Jack finds Mac and the woman, Leann, in the wine cellar, but the guards lock Jack in too. Leann reveals that the auction is being held in the wine-tasting room next door. Knowing that Donnay will have discovered that Pete is a fake, Mac aims the device he was working on at the wall; it punches through the wall and Jack, Mac, and Pete knock out the bad guys, while Leann assists by grabbing a nearby gun. Having successfully regained the jewels, Jack starts to explain about another scheme, but Mac and Pete simply walk away.


"Three and a half weeks. Two continents, five countries, one island, about nine thousand miles, and I was wasted. Right now, I was looking forward to miles and miles of nothing happening - except sleep." Mac, glad to be home

MacGyver: Jack, the answer is no. No rescue missions, no buried treasure, no sunken gold, no oil wells. No!

Jack: I just taped over some old movie.
MacGyver: My classic western collection!

Jack: The plane's there. We're signed up.
MacGyver: What about her flight crew?
Jack: Lost. Strayed. Stolen. Who cares?

Elena: Did you see them on television?
MacGyver: Oh, yeah.
Elena: And what did you think?
MacGyver: I think it's kind of a flashy way of tellin' people you're rich.
Elena: Ah. You don't approve.
MacGyver: Probably just jealous.

Elena: Dalton told me about you. Apparently you would rather give thirty-two million dollars to medial research.
MacGyver: Yeah . . . but then that's probably why you own the plane, and I'm just flying it.

Elena: You would probably give them to a campaign for hunger.
MacGyver: Yeah.
Elena: And save a few lives for what, six months? A year? Until they breed more starving children, and the money runs out, and then what?
MacGyver: Then you'd have bought another year. You can do a lot in a year.

MacGyver: My grandfather used to say, if you're afraid of the answer, don't ask the question.

"There are no Americans here. Only prisoners." Inspector Andres, burning the passports after Jack demands a visit to the consulate

Jack: She looked the part! She had Elena Iturbai's passport; wh- why wouldn't we believe her?
Inspector Andres: Be quiet. Stupidity irritates me.

MacGyver: We're officially crooks until we square with the police. Which means we whould get a line on those jewels.
Jack: MacGyver, we're wanted criminals; we just broke out of a torture chamber by slugging an inspector of police and the head of security for the richest woman in the universe.
MacGyver: We've got no choice. Either we're innocent - or we're dead.

MacGyver: Looks like at least two armed guards on duty.
Jack: Okay . . . so I guess knockin' on the front door is out.

"This guy's kind of nervous for a lousy thirty-two mill in hot ice." Jack, after Mac spots the security system

Leann: What are you talking about?
MacGyver: Torture. He's talking about torture.
Leann: No. We had an agreement. The Iturbai woman, she loses money she can afford to lose, but nobody gets hurt, and nobody gets killed.
MacGyver: I like that . . .

Leann: I'm your partner.
Donnay: I think I just bought you out.

MacGyver: Jack will be back.
Leann: Dalton? He's an ex-smuggler with the ethics of a weasel.
MacGyver: Yeah . . . but he's still my friend.

Leann: I believe in honesty. At least, when I'm contemplating my own death.

"Your friend plans to kill you. My friend plans to save me." Mac, after Leann doesn't believe that Jack will return

MacGyver: Maybe we should consider a different way out.
Leann: That door is steel. It is cross-braced and double-locked.
MacGyver: I never said it was going to be easy.

"I'm touched. As a matter of fact, I'm bruised." Jack, after learning that the guy knocked him out because Pete offered a reward

"Jack, having you as a friend is a little bit like owning a pet disease." Pete, furious after learning that Mac got caught

Pete: We've got to sneak in.
Jack: Disguised as what? Mother Teresa and a leper?

The Negotiator

Original Air Date: March 7, 1988
Episode #059

MacGyver meets with a man named Remick; Remick's company wants to build a marina, but Mac is concerned that the project will disrupt the ecosystem and cause a nearby beach to wash away. When Mac says that he will recommend an eighteen-month environmental impact study, Remick fails at bribery and resorts to threats. Leaving their meeting, Mac's Jeep is pursued by a wrecker; Mac forces the truck off the road but the driver flees, leaving no evidence that could convict Remick. Knowing that a longer study will prove that Mac is correct, Mr. Knapp, the developer of the marina, hires a negotiator - a woman who calls herself Deborah - to either change Mac's mind or get rid of him. To determine the best approach, Deborah watches Mac and leaves a listening device in his houseboat. Finally, she strikes up a conversation with him at an art class. She makes it seem as though they share similar interests, and soon they are growing closer as they spend time together. She continues with her plan by subtly questioning Mac about the project, and she realizes that he won't be driven away from it easily. After learning that Mac is close to Nikki Carpenter, Deborah breaks into her apartment and kills the dog that Nikki was keeping for her neighbors. Mac knows that someone is trying to send him a message, but he remains determined to fight. Deborah tries to kill Mac by detonating a bomb in the boat he's driving, but he survives. At the hospital, the doctor reveals that Mac is fine except for temporary blindness caused by the flash. Mac's eyes are covered with bandages to prevent infection, but he is released from the hospital the next day. Pete is concerned with leaving Mac alone at his houseboat, but Deborah arrives. She tells Mac that she's made a reservation for them to stay at a lodge. That evening, Pete Thornton receives the dog's autopsy report from Nikki. Hairs from a fur coat were found in the dog's mouth, and Nikki realizes that the killer is a woman. Knowing that it must be Deborah, they try in vain to call Mac. Soon, a police barricade looking for Mac forces Deborah to pull off the road into an abandoned warehouse. She stops the Jeep and they get out, but Mac realizes that something isn't right. Hearing a switchblade, Mac manages to knock Deborah down and go hide. He removes his bandages. His sight is blurry, but he is able to shock Deborah unconscious with jumper cables and a pool of liquid. Later, Mr. Knapp is stunned to learn that Deborah, who is now in police custody, has agreed to testify against him.


Remick: I don't know what you think you're protecting. The beauty of this land enhances the value of our own investment. I mean, do you think we're fools? We'd act against our own interests?
MacGyver: I think your company's first priority is to get your marina built.

Remick: Come on, MacGyver. There's other beaches for your birds.
MacGyver: Well, the fact is . . . we're running out of "other" beaches.

Remick: We respect your opinion. In fact, we respect it so much that we'd like to bring you aboard our team as a private consultant. And pay you what? A hundred thousand a year.
[Mac laughs.]
MacGyver: Come on, Remick. What happened to that lawyer subtlety of yours?

Remick: This is a two billion dollar project, MacGyver. And the interest on that money on our loan could run well over one hundred million dollars a year, while you're busy delaying this thing . . which is something you'd know if you lived in the real world.
MacGyver: I live in the real world, Remick. This one.
Remick: Mr. MacGyver, you don't know anything about the real world . . . But you'll find out. I assure you.

"Thanks for wearing a shirt and tie - looks great! Can't talk you into a haircut, can I?" Pete, to Mac after the hearing

Remick: This MacGyver is no pushover. I mean, he's not like other guys; I don't know what to make of him. But there's gotta be a way, and I'll find it.
Knapp: No, you won't. We have three weeks to turn him around. I don't have time for any more of your amateur stunts. This situation calls for a different approach.

Knapp: Half a million dollars is a lot of money.
Deborah: I'm worth it.
Knapp: Two hundred and fifty thousand down payment as we agreed. You'll receive the balance when MacGyver is either on our side or out of the way.

Deborah: I'm a negotiator, Mr. Knapp. I'll deliver the best deal possible to accomplish your ends. That's guaranteed. What you're paying for is what I'll do: whatever is required.

Knapp: I don't know what to tell you about this MacGyver. We put together this file. Not married. Has no relatives that we could find, close ones anyway. He's got a grandfather somewhere--
Deborah: I do my own research, Mr. Knapp.

"Hi, this is MacGyver. We all know how these things work, so when you hear the beep, go for it." Mac's answering machine message

"They're gonna have to do a little better than that. I don't scare off that easily." Mac on the phone to Pete, while Deborah is eavesdropping

"Goalies are easy models. They never move." Mac, joking with someone inspecting his artwork

MacGyver: Maybe we could get together some time and compare notes, over a cup of coffee maybe.
Deborah: I don't drink coffee.
MacGyver: Neither do I.

Deborah: I'm surprised they didn't try to buy you off. That's usually the level those corporate bullies operate on.
MacGyver: Yeah, well, they tried that first.
Deborah: So far, they just try to kill you off instead. Is it all worth it, MacGyver?
MacGyver: Yeah. Yeah, it is.

Nikki: We don't have a lot of time, here, and you know that this is no more complicated than screwing in a lightbulb.
MacGyver: Or blowing off your head!

Nikki: I'm Nikki Carpenter.
Deborah: Hi, I'm Debbie.
Nikki: So. You're the one who's got MacGyver's heart going pitter-pat.

Deborah (about Nikki): Are you two just friends?
MacGyver: Good friends. We've been through a lot together.

Deborah: Why would anybody do something so horrible?
MacGyver: Maybe for effect.
Deborah: Are you saying it could be those marina people again? But you're the one in their way, not Nikki.
MacGyver: Maybe they're looking for a soft spot.

Deborah: Why can't we just go away? If that's the kind of people you're dealing with, let them have their marina. It'll probably get built in the end anyway.
MacGyver: Maybe. Maybe not.

Deborah: The big people play their games. The world's wired a certain way. All we can do is . . . try to make it work for ourselves.
MacGyver: Now, see, I don't believe that. I think we're all in this together. That's why I'm not gonna let 'em stop me.

Doctor: He's fine, for the most part.
Deborah: "For the most part"? What does that mean?
Doctor: It's flash burn. He suffered some minor trauma to the cornea.
Pete: Are you saying he's blind?
Doctor: Oh, it's only temporary.

"I didn't have any hope..." Deborah, with a nod to her Days of our Lives character?

Deborah: I have a surprise for you.
MacGyver: You rearranged the furniture?

"How 'bout it, MacGyver?! Am I a sight for sore eyes, or what?!" Deborah, after seeing that Mac took off his bandages

MacGyver: You want to talk about this?
Deborah: We did; don't you remember? I gave you every chance in the world to close the deal your way.

Deborah: But, no. You've got to be a hero.

"I think it's time we re-negotiate." Mac, after shocking Deborah unconscious

MacGyver: Our survey more than justifies the eighteen-month impact study . . . However, I think Mr. Knapp will be behind bars a touch longer than that.

Deborah: Don't be so surprised. I'm a negotiator, Mr. Knapp. You know that. Testifying against you was just the best deal I could make.

The Spoilers (a.k.a. Earthquake World)

Original Air Date: March 14, 1988
Episode #060

At a mountain creek, MacGyver takes a water sample to determine what is polluting it. Further upstream, two men climb out of a tanker and begin to dump its contents into the stream, and Mac observes the water turn cloudy as the chemicals flood by. Not far away, a dog drinks the water and dies; the dog's owner, a mountain man, finds the men at the tanker and attacks them, but they drive away after shooting him in the leg. Mac finds the man and helps stop the bleeding from his wound. The man introduces himself as Earthquake. Mac wants him to come report the dumping, but Earthquake doesn't want to go into the city. The truck returns to a chemical processing plant, and the man in charge, Farber, tells an underling to investigate the man who fought with his drivers. Later, Earthquake changes his mind and shows up at the Phoenix Foundation, where Mac was discussing the dumpers - a company called Chemco - with Pete Thornton and attorney Karen Matsuda. Earthquake agrees to testify at a hearing before the state environmental agency. Mac and Earthquake sneak into Chemco to collect evidence. At the hearing, Farber brings up Earthquake's past in Vietnam and describes him as a borderline psychotic; Earthquake loses his cool and grabs Farber by the neck. The hearing is delayed. Outside the building, Earthquake is approached by the men from the truck; one throws the other over the railing, framing Earthquake for the man's murder. Earthquake flees, and Mac knows that he'll go to Chemco. That night, Earthquake sneaks in and arrives at Farber's office. Unfortunately, Farber pulls a gun on him. Mac also sneaks in and sees that the bad guys have got Earthquake. Mac works on a distraction while Farber concocts a cover story for his plan to kill Earthquake. Mac's distraction works and he knocks out the other baddies while Earthquake catches Farber. Later, back at the Phoenix Foundation, Pete reports that Farber had a network of similar operations, and they have all been shut down. Mac arrives with a puppy for Earthquake.


MacGyver: We've got a pretty good planet here, as planets go. The trouble is, we're lettin' it go down the drain in too many places.

"I'm on your side . . . I think." Mac, to Earthquake

MacGyver: I'm real sorry about your dog.
Earthquake: I learned a long time ago . . . you bury the dead, and that's it.

"Toberman. They call me Earthquake." Earthquake, introducing himself to Mac

MacGyver: You can identify one of the men. You're a witness.
Earthquake: I fought my wars.

Farber: Toxic waste disposal is very profitable for the organization. In ten years, we'll be part of an industry worth billions - bigger than narcotics! So, one mistake . . . is too many.
Dorman: Okay. We'll run a check on Toberman, but we're clean. He's nobody.

"Toxic would be an understatement." Pete, about the sample Mac took in the stream

Earthquake: I don't care what they call themselves. I saw one of 'em.
Karen: Could you identify him?
Earthquake: At night, in a fog, underwater.

Earthquake: What is this place?
MacGyver: They recycle industrial waste by filtering out toxics. At least, that's what they're supposed to do.
Earthquake: They look legit enough.
MacGyver: Well, it is. But if they're being paid to reprocess waste, and all they're doing is dumping it, a guy's gotta wonder where all the money goes. And we're talking about some big bucks.

Earthquake: What do you think a bunch of paper-shufflers are gonna do? They're no court.
Pete: No, they're not, but a fuse isn't a bomb either. But if you light the end of it, and it burns down far enough, there is an explosion.

Farber: Why is it you're called Earthquake?
Earthquake: Used a landslide once to get out of trouble.

MacGyver: When I was a kid, my grandpa gave me two things I'll never forget: a subscription to Popular Mechanics and a chemistry set.

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