MacGyver » Season 3
Fire and Ice
Original Air Date: October 26, 1987
MacGyver's friend, Danny Barrett, asks for Mac's help; Danny is an insurance investigator, and he is convinced that the man behind a string of diamond thefts is a diplomat. Danny reports finding evidence stored on the diplomat's computer, but Mac is concerned that Danny was traced when he hacked in. He tells Mac what he knows - including the codeword to access the data - before a speeding truck slams into Danny. At Danny's funeral, Mac vows to nail the thief who killed him, Amir Sumal. The next day, Mac sneaks into Sumal's office during a reception at the consulate, but he is interrupted by a woman, who also breaks in. Mac sends the information to Danny's computer. He and the woman flee the party, but Mac tracks her to Danny's office. Mac prints the evidence, which is encoded, but the woman frames him for stealing her car, so that she can escape. Later, she arrives at Mac's houseboat, admitting that she didn't know who he was. Her name is Nikki Carpenter, and she explains that Danny was her brother. They agree to work together to bring Sumal to justice. Pete Thornton explains that since Sumal is a diplomat, he has immunity. They would have to catch Sumal with the stolen goods, and even then, the best they could do is ship him to his home country to be prosecuted. Undaunted, Mac starts to work on a plan. Nikki poses as a member of a well-known wealthy family, and Mac poses as her brother; together they steal the previously-stolen diamonds from Sumal's safe. They lead Sumal to believe they're con artists planning a heist at the Diamond Exchange. He suggests a partnership; as expected, he double-crosses them after the phony robbery and leaves with the diamonds (which are the ones from his safe, the one that he stole before). When he returns to the consulate, Pete is there with the ambassador, who demands proof of the charges that Pete has brought against Sumal. Because of diplomatic immunity, the ambassador will not allow Sumal to be searched. Using a remote, Mac pops the latch on the attache case and the diamonds spill. Furious, the ambassador has his men take Sumal into custody.
MacGyver: A man once said, "When you make a friend, you take on a responsibility."
MacGyver: How'd I get so lucky?
Danny: 'Cause you taught me everything I know about computer hacking.
MacGyver: You tryin' to tell me some thief put all of that information into a computer?
Danny: Total arrogance! I mean, to him it was just good record-keeping. I mean, who's gonna touch him? The guy's a diplomat.
MacGyver: Our senior year class voted Danny the most reckless, and the most irresponsible - but everybody loved him . . . I'm gonna nail 'em, Pete. The diamond thief did this. You know it, I know it, and I'm gonna nail him.
Nikki: Alright, who are you?
MacGyver (recovering after she hit him in the head): It'll come to me ...
[Nikki kicks the guard before knocking him out.]
MacGyver: Where you learn that?
Nikki (oozing with sarcasm): Sunday school.
Valet: That chick's a real banana boat! Pulls up in a Ferrari, leaves in a wagon?
MacGyver: I hate when she does that. It's alright. We made an even trade.
[Mac finds Nikki in Danny's office.]
MacGyver: Let me guess, you're an insurance investigator.
Nikki: What else?
Nikki: You're not still mad about the car, are you?
MacGyver: Oh, I don't know - I had to drag one of my best friends downtown to bail me out, and then had to explain the whole thing. 'Course, I'm a little ticked.
Nikki: I came here to apologize.
MacGyver: You came here because you can't break the code.
Nikki: You did?
MacGyver: Maybe. But you're going to have to come up with more than a lame apology to find out.
Nikki: Danny was my brother.
MacGyver: Why didn't you just say something to me in the first place?
Nikki: I had no idea who you were; I thought you were another one of Danny's flaky friends.
MacGyver: You a cop?
Nikki: No but I . . . I've had that kind of training.
MacGyver: Danny did mention that his sister had gone to law school and worked for a Senate sub-committee. Why'd you leave?
Nikki (evasively): Well . . . my heart wasn't in it anymore.
MacGyver: I know some things; you know some things. What do you say we put 'em together and show Mr. Sumal he can't get away with murder?
MacGyver: First we're gonna need some diamonds for him to steal.
Pete: Oh, great. Well, I have a diamond stick pin I inherited, probably worth six hundred dollars. Where are we going to get diamonds that he would want to steal?!
MacGyver: I didn't get it. I couldn't get him away from his locker.
Nikki: I thought you were supposed to be good at this.
MacGyver: So did I.
MacGyver: This key's gonna work out fine. You did a fair job.
Nikki: You know, I got myself invited to the ambassador's reception. Now, I would hardly rate that a "fair job."
MacGyver: Okay, fair plus.
"Math and science do prove useful." Mac, after cracking the consulate's safe
MacGyver: You having a problem with my plan?
Nikki: Just one: it's not mine.
MacGyver: So what's the problem?
Sumal: I could shoot you, but that would be . . . so vulgar.
Nikki: How is it we just knew he'd do something like that?
MacGyver: Human nature.
"This one's for Danny." Mac, before spilling the diamonds to incriminate Sumal
Original Air Date: November 2, 1987
On holiday in the Alps, MacGyver is surprised to receive a visit Pete Thornton. Pete explains that a top secret plane called the GX-1 went down somewhere in East Germany, and they need Mac's help in recovering it. Mac is less-than-thrilled to learn that he'll be working with Nikki Carpenter. As Pete briefs them, he reports that the Russians - who shot down the GX-1 - are also looking for the plane using a psychic named Starkoss. Mac is skeptical, but Nikki is a bit concerned. Mac and Nikki arrive in East Germany, posing as a (bickering) married couple. Mac leaves to try to track the plane, and Nikki sees that Starkoss is at their hotel with a group of Russians. Nikki overhears them leave for their own search, and she hurries to find Mac. She encounters trouble in her hike, but she finds Mac, and he admits that Russians are ahead of them. Later, as Mac and Nikki watch, the Russian team finds the pilot's body outside an old barracks, and Starkoss declares that the plane is on a nearby peak. When they have gone, Mac and Nikki move in to bury the pilot, and they find a note from Starkoss telling them to follow. They eventually reach the crash site, and Starkoss finds them as they watch from a distance. He says that he wants to defect; Mac agrees that he can come after he destroys all of the plane's remnants. As the Russians collect the pieces, Mac sneaks around planting explosive. He activates the timer, but he's discovered and is forced to hide while Nikki escapes with Starkoss. That night, he meets them at the old barracks. Knowing that the Russians will be coming for them, the three work to make their own hot air balloon using what they can find. The balloon works to carry them across the border. On the ground, Starkoss decides to go his own way.
MacGyver: No schedule, no timetables - just watchin' the birds go by. Enjoying the scenery, smellin' the fresh air and reminding myself why eagles don't get ulcers.
MacGyver: One thing you got to know when you're ballooning is how to land. Simply put: you just cut the heat and let gravity do the rest.
Pete: We've lost a plane. Somewhere here in the Alps.
MacGyver: Must be a pretty important plane for you to come this far.
Pete: Well, it is. The GX-1.
MacGyver: Oh, you mean the plane that's not supposed to exist yet?
MacGyver: What do you mean they've gone as far as they can go?
Pete: I mean they can't cross the East German border.
"What's she doing here?" Mac, not happy to see Nikki walking toward them
MacGyver: Those mountains are rugged. I don't want to be sa--
Nikki: -- and you don't want to be stuck dragging a woman around.
MacGyver: Well, I wouldn't have put it quite like that--
Nikki: But that's exactly what you meant.
Nikki (to Mac): You're a closet sexist!
MacGyver: I'll meet you there as soon as I get Heidi a ride home.
Nikki: "Heidi." It would be.
MacGyver: I've got the pilot's last coordinates, his altitude, his air speed, a satellite map . . . and they've got some guy doing parlor tricks. I'll take the odds any day.
Nikki: You were real smooth with that border guard back there. How did you ever manage to ask him about his sister's feet?
MacGyver: Alright, my German's not so good; we got through, didn't we?
Nikki: I suppose your Swiss Miss could've done better.
MacGyver: Heidi happens to be extremely competent, intelligent, and articulate.
Nikki: Not to mention a great body.
MacGyver:That's not her fault.
Nikki: You certainly wouldn't hold it against her.
MacGyver: Oh, now who's the sexist, huh?
[Nikki practically drools over the hotel attendant.]
Nikki: He seemed very polite.
MacGyver (sarcastically): And articulate.
"How much . . . Deustchmarks for das . . . horsey?" Nikki, trying to bargain with one of the natives
Nikki: Is that all you have with you, is one sleeping bag?
MacGyver: Yeah, well, I wasn't expecting company. . . . There's plenty of room here.
Nikki: Yeah, right. Not in a million years.
MacGyver: Suit yourself. Good night.
[After Nikki weighs her options, she wakes up the next morning sleeping in the bag.]
Nikki: I have to give you high marks for acting like a perfect gentleman last night.
MacGyver (sarcastically): That's amazing. I don't know how, but I controlled myself.
Nikki: Starkoss is something else.
MacGyver: Mr. Starkoss is no more clairvoyant than common sense and logic.
Nikki: He knew! He knew about my feet. I mean, I've got blisters; I didn't tell him that.
MacGyver: Nikki, you're wearing oversized boots. Blisters are a given.
Nikki: He knew you were carrying explosives.
MacGyver: He knew I came here to destroy the pieces of the plane when I found 'em. Obviously I'm not going to truck 'em off the mountain in my backpack.
MacGyver: If he thinks we're gonna hang around long enough for the Russians to take that stuff off the mountain, then he's been reading the wrong minds.
Nikki: It's been hours. Where have you been?
MacGyver: Running and ducking, mostly.
Starkoss: Were you spotted?
Starkoss: You're a serious man, you're an intellectual man, you're a man of the mind . . . Why feel such guilt? It's alright. She understands. Your mother, she forgives you.
Starkoss: It's alright. She understands you could not go to the funeral. She forgives you; you do not forgive yourself. But she forgives you.
MacGyver: What kind of dossier do you people have me?
"You've done your homework." Mac, to Starkoss for knowing about Mac's mother
MacGyver: From what I understand, you've made the most of your . . . gift.
Starkoss: If it is a gift I have, it is a gift you would not choose to receive.
Starkoss: That woman. You will come to love her.
MacGyver: What?! No . . . no way. No. I'm glad she's alright but . . . trust me.
Starkoss: No, MacGyver. Trust me.
Jack in the Box
Original Air Date: November 9, 1987
Returning home from a fishing trip with Pete Thornton, MacGyver finds a message from Jack Dalton on his answering machine. Jack says that he's in big trouble in a small town called Smiley, Arkansas, and he needs Mac's help. Knowing that it's probably another of Jack's schemes, Mac tells Pete that he isn't going, but he does. In Smiley, a local named Lyle Hudson tells Mac that Jack left town after getting on the bad side of Sheriff Bodine. As Mac leaves the diner, the sheriff approaches him and accuses him of starting trouble. The next thing Mac knows, he is arriving at the county's prison work farm. An inmate named Pépé greets him, and Mac soon finds Jack emerging from the facility's penalty box. Jack explains that a bank robber left five million dollars in stolen money stashed in a local mine, and Jack wants Mac to help him find it and escape. Unfortunately, the sheriff and the prison warden are searching for the money as well, using the prisoners as slave labor. The next day at the mine, Mac creates a diversion so that he and Jack can get the money and escape to send the national guard back to bust the crooked sheriff. As Jack and Mac try to sneak off during the commotion, the sheriff sees and raises his gun to fire. Pépé throws a rock to stop him and is shot. Mac and Jack run to Pépé's side; he dies. That night Jack says he regrets ever hearing about the map or the money, but Mac says that he has a plan to escape. Early the next morning, another prisoner reports what he heard to the warden and the sheriff. They go to talk to Mac and Jack, but their beds are empty. After the guards head out to search; Mac and Jack emerge from hiding and escape in the warden's car. They go to the home of the diner's waitress to use the phone, but Lyle is also there - with a gun. He says that he owns the mine. Sheriff Bodine and the warden arrive, looking for the map; Mac says that it's in his head. They return to the mine, and Mac recalls the way. They pull the case full of money from its hiding place. The sheriff and the warden plan to bury Mac and Jack in the mine, but the guys fight back. After the baddies have all been arrested, Mac tells Jack that he's changing his phone number.
"Hi, this is MacGyver. We all know how these things work, so when you hear the beep, go for it." Mac's answering machine message
"Now see what you've done?" Sheriff Bodine, after he throws Jack through the diner's window
Pete: Tell me I enjoyed myself, will you?
MacGyver: You enjoyed yourself.
Pete: Oh, boy. Four days on a rowboat with wet pants - ugh! I've got mosquito bites on top of my mosquito bites. Thought I was gonna have sunstroke. Now coming home, I smell like old bait.
[Mac and Pete have just heard Jack's message.]
Pete: That is a ploy. You know that.
MacGyver: How do I know that?
Pete: Well, when hasn't it been?
MacGyver: He does sound like he's in trouble.
Pete: Well, of course he's in trouble; he's always in trouble.
MacGyver: My grandpa use to say that friendship was a two-sided coin. It can turn out to be the best - or the worst - investment you ever made. I guess whenever I flipped the coin of friendship with Jack Dalton, he usually wound up in over his head, and I usually wound up covering his tail.
Lyle: If y'all stick around here long enough, you may notice that most of the citizens here in Smiley have this predominantly redneck view of things. Somebody as flamboyant as your friend Dalton, he just makes 'em see a little bit redder.
MacGyver: I didn't come here looking for a hassle. I came here looking for a friend.
[The sheriff grabs Mac by the collar.]
Sheriff: You sayin' I'm harassin' you?! Just who are you to accuse me?
Pépé: Come. Pépé will show you where we eat, where we sleep . . . where we curse the gods.
MacGyver: Who is JD?!
Jack: Don't know. John Doe? John Dead? Let's get back to the living. Have you met my amigo, Pépé? Kid worships the ground I hobble on.
MacGyver: How do you know all this?
Jack: My uncle Charlie.
MacGyver: Uncle Charlie?! The man used to rob your piggybank - he's an ex-con!
Jack: I know, but that's not to say the man's past hasn't worked to my advantage.
MacGyver: Just so I got this straight. You got yourself arrested, on purpose. You conned me into comin' out here to help you find some stolen money, and then help you break out of here?
Jack: Exactly. We're partners, Partner.
MacGyver: You did it to me again! You actually did--
[Mac turns to talk to Pépé.]
MacGyver: He did it. He did it to me again.
Jack: There's a fifteen percent reward for the return of the money.
MacGyver: I don't give a rat's pajamas about the money!
Jack: Am I missing something?
MacGyver: Jack, if this thing blows like it should, I won't have time to go into what you're missing.
Jack: Why didn't I just listen to you?
MacGyver: Why start now?
Jack: What happened to Charlie?
Renfro: Well, you might say he got cold feet.
Sheriff (with a laugh): You might say he got cold all over.
Jack: Five. Million. Bucks.
MacGyver: Forget it, Jack. It's only money.
Jack: That's that.
MacGyver: You bet it is. As soon as I get home, I'm changing my phone number.
Jack: Come on, MacGyver. Don't be like this. We're partners. Compadres. A team, like hominy and grits.
MacGyver: Like gasoline and matches. I'm moving my houseboat to an unlisted marina.
MacGyver: You use me! You lie to me! You suck me in! You . . . drive me up the wall!
Jack: What are friends for?
Original Air Date: November 16, 1987
MacGyver is climbing a mountain called the Widowmaker with his friend of many years, Mike Forrester. As they rest on a ledge, Mike says that she wants to be more than friends, but Mac likes things the way they are. Hiding her tears, Mike starts to climb again but loses her grip. Mac watches in horror as Mike's harness breaks and she falls to her death. A week later, Pete Thornton is concerned that Mac is hiding and blaming himself; he didn't even attend Mike's funeral. Pete visits Mac at the cabin, asking him to come back home, but Mac says that he wants to be left alone. Meanwhile, someone breaks into Mac's houseboat and finds brochures for the Widowmaker; he burns "RIP MacGyver" into the mantel and takes two pictures of it. At the Phoenix Foundation, Pete reports that Mac is in bad shape; Nikki Carpenter says that maybe someone who isn't so close should pay a visit. She stops at the local store for groceries, and unknowingly chats with the man who broke into Mac's place: Murdoc. Nikki proceeds to the cabin. She finds Mac out on the dock, but he tells her to go. They argue until Mac spots pictures hanging in the cabin. Suddenly, Murdoc is outside setting things on fire with a flamethrower. Mac and Nikki escape behind a mattress, but they find their vehicles and the road booby-trapped. Mac rigs up a device to take out Murdoc's flamethrower and they head for the mountain, stopping on the way to tap out a signal for help on the telephone wires. Ellard, the man who runs the store, receives the message and notifies Pete. Mac and Nikki make their way down to a ledge, but Murdoc rappels down. Nikki kicks his gun away, but he knocks her aside, so that she is hanging on for life. Murdoc goes after Mac with a knife. Mac uses Murdoc's rope to protect himself, and Murdoc cuts the rope. Falling backward off the ledge, Murdoc screams Mac's name on the way down. Mac pulls Nikki up onto the ledge, and they start to climb back to the top of the mountain.
"What are you doing up here? he asked himself. Don't you remember? You hate heights. Or is it that heights hate you?" Mac, while mountain-climbing
MacGyver: There's an old climbers' saying: it's not the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop.
MacGyver: You're really enjoying this, aren't you.
Mike: Having the time of my life. But hurry up. My arms are getting tired.
MacGyver: Thanks for hanging on to me.
Mike: Oh, come on, MacGyver. I've spent half my life hanging onto you . . . Uh oh. She's getting suggestive, and he's getting uncomfortable...
MacGyver: Come on, Mike. We've been friends a long time.
Mike: Maybe too long . . . I didn't mean it like that. I mean . . . I just want more. And not from someone else. From you.
MacGyver: You're my best friend. Mike, we've always been there for each other; isn't that the most important thing?
Mike: All those women in your life and you never learned a thing, did you.
Nikki: This is serious, huh.
Pete: Yeah, it's serious. MacGyver is running. The funny thing about running is you always end up taking yourself with you.
Pete: Mike was an expert. You know, she climbed the Widowmaker twice before?
Pete: You've been up here over a week. Don't you think it's time you came home?
MacGyver: To what?
Pete: Oh. Well, I don't know . . . Your life?
Pete: Punishing yourself is not going to bring Mike back.
MacGyver: Neither is working for you, so get off my case.
MacGyver: Pete. I want you to understand something: I want to be left alone. Away from everybody. Away from everything.
Pete: You got it. Take care of yourself.
Nikki: How was he?
Pete: Not good at all. There was no life in him. Can you imagine MacGyver with no smile, no light behind the eyes?
Nikki: I was gonna ask you how you're keeping yourself, but the answer's pretty obvious. You look awful.
MacGyver: You came all the way up here to give a critique?
MacGyver: How'd you find me?
MacGyver: I told him to leave me alone.
Nikki: And he has.
MacGyver: So what are you doing here?
Nikki: Trying to help.
MacGyver: Don't need any.
Nikki: I came here because I care about you, you jerk . . . Now, MacGyver. We are friends, aren't we?
MacGyver: Spare yourself. Friends of mine end up gettin' hurt.
Nikki: I'd sure like to see you scrub some of that self-pity off along with the rest of the dirt.
Nikki: You didn't push her, did you?
MacGyver: Yes. Yes, I did. I pushed her away when she needed something from me . . . I hurt her, and she fell.
Nikki: And there wasn't anything you could do to save her, was there.
MacGyver: It's not as simple as that.
"It's your turn to burn, MacGyver!" Murdoc, wielding a flamethrower
Nikki: I saw that maniac at Ellard's store!
MacGyver: That's Murdoc. He's not your normal professional killer.
Nikki: This guy's a nutcase!
MacGyver: Yeah, no kiddin'.
Nikki: Mines? He carries around mines with him? How on earth did you get mixed up with this guy?
MacGyver: Wrong place, wrong time . . . It's a long story.
Nikki: So we've knocked out his flamethrower, but something tells me this guy doesn't give up easily.
Nikki: What can I do to help?
MacGyver: Cross your fingers.
Nikki: There's no place else to run.
MacGyver: Yes, there is. Up.
MacGyver: I'm sorry I got you into this.
Nikki: It's what I get for crashing your party.
Nikki: So it wasn't your fault.
MacGyver: Is that all I have to tell myself?
Nikki: No. More. The truth. You were her friend; you did all that you could do.
MacGyver: Wasn't enough, was it.
MacGyver: We're still going to have to climb up after they nail Murdoc.
Nikki: Up? You never said anything about up.
MacGyver: You were expecting a skyhook?
MacGyver: Come on, Nikki. Where's your spirit of adventure?
Nikki: I left it back at Pete's cabin.
Nikki: One minute you can't even look down the mountain, and the next minute you're a mountain goat.