MacGyver » Season 1
Original Air Date: December 8, 1985
MacGyver wakes up "at home," in an apartment overlooking the beach. He goes downstairs to meet Frank Bennett, a man who is considering testifying against his brother. When Mac steps inside to see why Wylie - the Federal Marshall - hasn't joined them yet, a black car drives up and two men grab Frank. Mac hotwires Frank's car and follows them to a lumber yard. They take Frank inside, and his brother, Joey, joins them. Joey knows that Frank has been talking to the Feds; Frank wants Joey to shut down his drug business. Joey says that's not an option - but they can't let Frank walk away. Mac sets up a diversion, and he and Frank escape. Frank goes to Wylie's office to give a statement, after asking Mac to visit his mother in the hospital. Mac learns that Frank's mother is dying; she asks to see her son one last time. Mac goes to give Frank the message, but Wylie won't let him because he can't risk something happening to Frank. Mac is able to free Frank from Wylie's men, but they learn that Joey moved Mrs. Bennett home. Mac warns Frank that it's a trap, but Frank insists on seeing her. At the Bennett house, the security systems are off: Joey is expecting him. Frank is allowed to visit his mother, who passes away. Frank gives Mac the signal to extract him. Unfortunately, security is put back in place, and Mac hurriedly picks the lock, narrowly avoiding two vicious guard dogs. Mac and Frank manage to barricade themselves in the attic. Mac rigs up a line, and he and Frank are able to slide safely across the yard, landing outside the gate. With the Feds on their way, Frank looks back at his brother and tells Mac that this is the way it has to end.
MacGyver: There's nothing like waking up at home for a change. Take a look around my own world - sort of ease into the day.
MacGyver: There's got to be a gigantic secret factory somewhere puttin' out nothing but junk mail.
[Mac offers Frank coffee.]
Frank: Yeah, that's good, as long as it's strong.
MacGyver: It's guaranteed to melt lead.
Frank: You don't look like a, uh, hotshot expert on personal security.
MacGyver: Well, I don't feel like one either.
"So much for easing into the day." Mac, after the man he was meeting with is kidnapped and Mac chases after them
MacGyver: Now, technically I'm driving a stolen car, following a kidnapping . . . and I still haven't had my first cup of coffee.
Frank: What's so damn urgent you have to send a couple of legbreakers after me?
Frank: We're brothers, Joey. It's just a word: it stopped meaning anything a long time ago.
"I had to get you out. You forgot to pay for your coffee." Mac, after saving Frank from his brother
Frank: Who elected you my conscience?
MacGyver: Well, somebody's gotta do it.
Joey: No trouble, right? Not here . . .but I owe you.
MacGyver: I'd love to collect sometime.
MacGyver: He's worried about his mother.
Joey: I'll worry about his mother; you tell Frank to worry about his brother. Then give him my love.
MacGyver: Oh, I get it. You're willing to break the law in order to uphold it!
MacGyver: I know a brick wall when it falls on me.
"Lots of people think a car runs on gas. Only one-third correct. A car also runs on air and water." Mac, as he's tinkering with the Marshall's car
Frank: Pull it over, let me have a look.
Guy: Are you a mechanic?
Frank: Do you have a choice?
[The Marshall's men flag down Mac, who is conveniently driving a tow truck.]
MacGyver: Always got time for a badge.
"With all due respect, Sir. I do what I do, the way I do it." Mac, as an eccentric tow truck driver, when the Marshall's men tell him to hurry
Frank: I just know you're gonna tell me what this is all about.
MacGyver: Well, right now I'm giving the Feds a deeper and more profound understanding of themselves.
Frank: This is nice of you, Joey. Poppa would approve.
Joey: Yes, he would.
Frank: That always was important to you, wasn't it.
Frank: Mama's dead.
Joey: I'm gonna miss her Frank . . . I'm gonna miss you, too.
[Mac and Frank are running from Joey's goons.]
Frank: Back stairs.
[A guy with a gun is coming toward them.]
MacGyver: This problem's kinda tricky: no place to go, and no way to get there.
"Even Poppa would be proud." Joey, about Mac and Frank's escape from the attic
Original Air Date: December 22, 1985
In the opening gambit, MacGyver sneaks into a beach house to rescue a kidnapped lady general. He creates a diversion in the kitchen; when the captors leave the living room, Mac rushes in to free the general, but he finds that she's hand-cuffed to the chair. He drags the chair out onto the deck and uses a hose to trip the bad guys as they rush out. They stumble off the deck, landing on the sand. He grabs the gun that one of them dropped and points it at them as he calls to report that the general has been found.
At the request of the Government, Mac blows up a nuclear refining plant that a Middle Eastern country has started to create weapons. Glad to return home, he realizes that someone is in his apartment. It's a man named Barney, who tells Mac the "the department" is grateful for what his did. However, Barney says that Mac was identified at the nuclear plant and a contract has been placed on his life. An assassin named Axminster has been hired; Barney recalls how he killed about 40 bystanders to take out a previous target. Barney urges Mac to go into hiding while they stake out his apartment. Mac gets on a bus headed for Colorado to visit Harry, his grandfather, whom Mac hasn't seen since he was ten years old. However, Harry calls Mac's apartment and leaves a message that Mac shouldn't come, before realizing that he's probably on the way. Axminster and his men have tapped Mac's phone, and they get to work tracking down the call's origin. Harry meets Mac at the bus station, and they return to Harry's cabin. Mac tries to talk about the past, but Harry says the subject is closed. Later, Harry admits that he avoided Mac because he didn't want to be reminded of the loss of Mac's mother and grandmother. Axminster and his men burst into the cabin but they find it empty; they soon locate Harry and Mac fishing on a boat in the nearby lake. Dodging bullets, Harry and Mac dive into the water and swim to safety. They start toward Evermore, so they can use the phone. Along the way, they manage to knock out Axminster's men and even the odds a bit. They reach Evermore only to find it deserted. Working together, they take out the rest of Axminster's group, as well as the assassin himself. As Mac is about to board the bus to leave, Harry asks if he'll come back, and Mac replies, "Count on it."
MacGyver: On the other hand, rescuing a lady general has never been my idea of beach fun.
MacGyver: I really have to rethink my life.
MacGyver: So, here I am on a moonlit night, staring down the throat of a brand new Middle-Eastern nuclear refining plant, put on this good Earth for no other reason than to allow some strongman to blow up his neighbor.
MacGyver: Home. Enough is enough. I will not, under any circumstances, for any reason whatsoever answer the phone ... probably ... again.
Barney: I'm not offering you an assignment. I'm giving you a warning: you're a target.
MacGyver: Now that I'd like spelled out.
MacGyver: I like to take care of my own messes.
MacGyver: You know, there is a, kind of a . . . a trip I've been toying with.
Barney: Take it now.
MacGyver (with a note of sarcasm): Big on aliens in Alabama.
Guy on bus, reading tabloid magazine: No lie, full of strange people. That's why I'm goin' north. Back and see my family for a while.
MacGyver: Makes sense.
MacGyver: I hadn't seen my grandfather since I was ten. He was all the family I had - and we were strangers.
MacGyver's answering machine message: Hi. MacGyver here. When you hear the beep, let me know what's on your mind.
MacGyver: What a beautiful part of the world. It has everything but people.
[Mac approaches his grandfather at the bus station.]
MacGyver: Hi, Harry.
Harry: How'd you know?
MacGyver: I never forget a grandfather.
MacGyver: You haven't changed.
Harry: Haven't had to, and I don't plan to.
"You always did like to talk." Harry, about MacGyver
"Still tough as a dirty boot, aren't you." MacGyver, about Harry
Harry: So I went. Figured sending money regular would be more use to you and your mother than I was.
MacGyver: You figured wrong.
MacGyver: You ready for some fishing?
Harry: I've already been; what do you think we're having for breakfast?
MacGyver: C'mon, Harry. You're the one who used to tell me: you don't fish for fish, you fish for fishin'.
"Have a little faith, Harry." MacGyver, when his grandfather is skeptical about Mac's plan for a diversion
[The bad guys are approaching.]
MacGyver: Can we get out this way?
Harry: We don't seem to have a lot of choice!
"It has to do with freedom and peace, Harry. And some people who don't like either." Mac, when his grandfather demands the real reason for his visit
MacGyver: Hey, Harry, remember you used to tell me about how the Indians fought this way?
Harry: Bud . . . a lot of that stuff I used to tell you was, uh, just stories.
MacGyver: Yeah, well a lot of it works.
Harry: You sure that'll work?
Harry: Bud, you are a comfort.
MacGyver: When I was a kid, I used to chew pine pitch like it was gum. It tasted alright - but it burned a lot better.
MacGyver: Just grazed you, Harry. It coulda been worse, you know.
Harry: It hurts like "worse."
Harry: Just what is it that you do, Bud?
MacGyver: Eh, a little of this, a little of that.
Harry: That sure explains it.
"I didn't want to be reminded, so I just . . . kept moving." Harry, on why he didn't visit Mac after his mother died
"He seemed to be talkin' just the way I was . . . or maybe I've been thinkin' like him all along." Mac, in a voice-over as he and Harry are working on a way to fight the bad guys
"I've been falling for your foolishness; I figured I'd try some of my own." Harry, working on his own plan for a diversion
Original Air Date: January 15, 1986
MacGyver arrives in the San Pedro harbor on a ship called the Gemstone. As he walks along the dock to meet his contact, he sees a teenage girl using seaweed as a fishing lure; he offers that she should use something shiny. He spies a gum wrapper and attaches that to the line, and she catches a fish as he walks on. Mac greets Pete Thornton, and they start for the parking area. They realize that they've got trouble when they see two men heading for them. Pete tells Mac to get the list out of there, but as Pete tries to stop the men, he is shot in the shoulder. Mac hides the list in the base of a streetlight. After he knocks out one of the bad guys, he sees a policeman writing a parking ticket. Mac goes to the officer, who hits Mac when his back is turned. The bad guys take Mac to a warehouse and report to the head baddie - Kurt Nielsen - that the list is not there. To coerce Mac into cooperating, Nielsen injects Mac with a serum and explains that it will first cause disorientation, then pain, and then it will kill him. Nielsen shows Mac the small container with the antidote, warning that the antidote must be administered within six hours. He synchronizes a watch with a timer on his desk, and he places the watch on Mac. Nielsen's men escort Mac to a bare room where he can wait. As he starts to feel the effects of the serum, he escapes. Nielsen informs his men that for the next few hours Mac will be too confused to call for help, so they begin to search for him. Meanwhile, Mac tries to make his way down a street, staggering and grabbing onto a fence for support. Lisa, the girl Mac helped with the gum wrapper lure, is passing by with her friends; she recognizes Mac but her friends warn her that he is messed up, and she doesn't need any more trouble. She says that she has to help him. She helps him back to her place, which is a room in an abandoned building. Mac's mind clears a little, and he asks what she's doing in a place like that. She replies that she ran away from an abusive home. The pain stage of the poison starts; Mac tries to sleep but he has nightmares that Nielsen is after him. Waking up, Lisa tells him that three men are snooping around. Mac remembers his name and why the men are after him; he looks at the watch he's wearing, which is ticking down from one hour and thirty minutes, and he realizes that he doesn't have much time. He sets up a distraction to escape from Nielsen's men, and he sends Lisa to call Pete Thornton at the Federal Building. With the minutes quickly ticking away, he returns to the warehouse. He sets up a trap for Nielsen's men; Nielsen follows him outside, where Mac tackles him. They fight briefly, but Nielsen tosses the container with the antidote into a grate. Mac punches him out. With the help of a magnetized pole, Mac reaches the container and takes the antidote with only minutes left. Later, back at the docks, Mac retrieves the list; he also finds Lisa to say that he's talked to Pete about a Government scholarship for her.
MacGyver: It's a known fact that eighty decibels of rushing water is one of the most pleasing sounds known to mankind. On other hand, ten and a half days at sea is enough water for anybody.
MacGyver: You know, seaweed's not considered to be the best lure for fishing.
MacGyver: My grandfather used to say, "You just gotta think like a fish."
Lisa: Yeah, but does it work?
MacGyver: Well . . . ultimately, it's up to the fish, I think.
MacGyver: Expecting trouble?
Pete: Well, you never can tell. The East Germans are just a little bit hot over this one.
MacGyver: Nice to know my work is appreciated.
Nielsen: You have to tell me where it is hidden, MacGyver.
MacGyver: You know, I just don't seem to remember.
Nielsen: Mr. MacGyver is a genuine patriot. They can be remarkably stubborn.
MacGyver: Hey, look guys . . . I've got this thing about needles . . . Here's an idea: why don't you just try dripping water on my forehead? . . . The old rubber hose and bright light trick?
Nielsen: The list.
MacGyver: Hypnotism - it's been known to work . . .
Nielsen: You're probably wondering about the effects of the injection. Initial effect is disorientation, double vision, hallucinations.
MacGyver: I was kinda hoping that's what this was.
MacGyver: Bein' told when you're gonna die kinda puts a little pressure on you.
MacGyver: One time, when I was a kid, I built a slingshot out of a couple of broken hockey sticks and an old inner tube. And you know, no matter how hard I practiced I just could never miss . . my neighbor's window.
MacGyver: I had running water and an electrical socket nearby. That could be a heck of a combination if I put 'em together right.
"I'm going to regret this. I know I am going to regret this." Lisa, as she's helping Mac who is acting very strange/stoned
"He's out there. Someone has seen him. Find that someone." Nielsen, ordering his men around
MacGyver: So, you split. For good.
Lisa: For me.
Lisa: I got school books; I'm gonna get a diploma. I'm gonna make something of myself . . . I don't know exactly what. [She laughs.]
MacGyver: How about a success?
Lisa (sarcastically): Yeah, right.
MacGyver (seriously): Yeah, right.
Lisa: I hope you know what you're doing.
MacGyver: Me too.
MacGyver: Like the magician said: a little misdirection never hurt.
"You don't even have the strength left." Nielsen, assessing Mac's condition - and proven wrong when Mac punches him out
Original Air Date: January 22, 1986
In the opening gambit, MacGyver is being smuggled out of East Berlin in a wooden coffin. People disguised as mourners meet at a bridge to get him; the coffin is deposited outside the gate for the mourners to pick up. However, as they carry the coffin away, the guard gets a call - presumably about Mac escaping with something important. The mourners start to flee, and they throw the coffin off of the bridge into the water below. Mac blows the top and the sides off of the coffin to reveal a jet ski, which he uses to sail away to safety.
Elsewhere, a man named Quayle appears before a tribunal of three men. Quayle admits that MacGyver is the only blemish on his record; he guarantees that he will succeed this time. The three men agree to give Quayle a chance to redeem himself, but they warn ominously that this is his last chance. Meanwhile, Mac returns to town via a helicopter that lands on a landing pad atop the Cavitt-Tinglof Tower. As Mac exits the building, a red Porsche pulls onto the sidewalk, and a blond woman gets out. Calling him "Baby," she rushes over to Mac and greets him affectionately. Under her breath she explains that Pete Thornton sent her to help Mac escape from the hit men that are after him. Playing along, Mac gets into the car; as they speed away, the woman introduces herself as Karen Blake. She drives him to the safehouse, which turns out to be a very large mansion. Inside, Pete explains that the place hasn't been used in a while. There is a hole in the department's security, so even Pete's office doesn't know where they are. Pete, Karen, and Mac go to the trophy room, where Mrs. Chung is waiting for them. Mrs. Chung is going to decode the microfilm that Mac brought from East Berlin, but her computer suddenly powers on - then explodes. Watching from hidden cameras, Quayle flips a switch and bars cover the window. Via a microphone, Quayle taunts that they're playing a game by his rules. Mrs. Chung grabs the doorknob, but a needle pops out and she falls, sedated by a tranquilizer. Mac, Karen and Pete go to try to front door; it opens, but when Mac leans a suit of armor out the door to test it, the armor is riddled with bullets from guns out in the yard. Mac picks up the pieces of the armor and goes with Pete and Karen to the kitchen. They turn on every blender and kitchen device they can find, and Quayle is unable to see or hear them in that room. Mac's plan is for them to split up and keep Quayle guessing. Pete goes out first; he returns to the trophy room where he has a portable phone. Unfortunately, Quayle uses that phone to shock Pete unconscious. Karen goes out next - to the room where Quayle is watching! She nervously says that she was promised a simple job with no killing. He insists that he's just toying with the others. Giving her a small device to communicate with him, he sends her out to report what Mac is doing. Mac rigs up a diversion for the guns outside, and he manages to jump the fence on the property. However, as he heads for the road, Quayle calls to him over the speakers, threatening Pete. Mac returns to the house. Karen gets to the trophy room first, and she screams when she sees Pete. She tells Mac that Pete's been electrocuted; Mac discovers that Pete isn't dead. Back in the kitchen, Mac finds the communication device that Quayle gave Karen. Karen says that she's only helping because they've got her brother. Mac offers an alternative: help catch Quayle and use him as a bargaining chip. If that doesn't work, Mac promises to go and bring her brother home. Karen agrees. They dodge another of Quayle's traps and make it to the basement. Mac cuts the power and, as he expected, Quayle arrives looking for them. Unfortunately he's in the wrong position for Mac's trap to work. Karen pretends to betray Mac, but she shoves Quayle to where Mac can knock him out. Later, Pete calls his office to report the security leak plugged.
MacGyver: There are some places in this world that are a lot easier to get into than out of. Like East Berlin, for instance. I mean look at me . . . [he's being smuggled out in a coffin] . . . I'm dying to leave.
MacGyver: I guess this makes me about the first guy who ever attended his own funeral and lived to tell about it.
MacGyver: Pete and I go way back to some pretty . . . funny places.
Karen: Is that what the camel is all about?
Pete: The first time I met this fellow, he pulled me out of the quicksand in the Wadi Naboot** - deep desert. Then he put me on a camel and gave it this gigantic swat. . .
** Thanks to Kathy Mac for checking the subtitles to clarify this name!
MacGyver: Congratulations yourself. I heard: Deputy Chief of the Department. [Mac feigns being very impressed.] Big deal.
Pete: You can call me "Sir."
MacGyver: He used the name Quayle. Sold the British out to the Russians. Double-crossed the Russians for the Ayatollah.
Quayle [laughs]: Ah, those dear, fun days...
MacGyver: Always had to say how great you were, didn't you, Quayle? Afraid maybe people wouldn't notice.
Quayle: You'll be the last one to die.
MacGyver: That's what I figure, too . . . of old age, hopefully.
"I have never been nailed down so tight in my entire life." MacGyver, feeding Quayle's ego while working on an escape plan
MacGyver: Stay low, move fast, think smart--
MacGyver and Pete: --and if you go--
Pete: --take company along.
MacGyver: When I was a kid, I use to build model airplanes with rubber band motors. Then I discovered batteries - it sure did increase the mileage.
Quayle: That's what makes you my, um - what shall I call you? My little mole . . . no, that's far too unflattering.
Karen: When I left him he was taking the motor out of a blender.
Quayle: Ah, yes, that's the handyman side of MacGyver; he likes to make clever little things out of odd bits.
Karen: I know you would've gotten away.
MacGyver: That's alright. I changed my mind. If I get away, Quayle gets away - and I want him.
[Mac has just found proof of his suspicions that Karen works with Quayle.]
Karen: How did you know?
MacGyver: Well, first of all you were a little too quick and cool getting me out of that hit, and the hit men didn't even try to follow. Secondly, you took one look at Pete from across the room and assessed that he had been electrocuted.
MacGyver: How much money are they giving you to betray your country, huh?
Karen: Money? It's not . . . I wouldn't do it for money. Look, I've never done anything like this before.
MacGyver: Oh, please. Don't tell me you're one of these political--
Karen: THEY'VE GOT MY BROTHER!
MacGyver: I think we should get Quayle out of his electronic fortress.
MacGyver: By unplugging all his gadgets.
Karen: What are you gonna do?
MacGyver: Invite the man to a party.
Mrs. Chung: Now where were we? Oh, yes. Solving a puzzle.
MacGyver: That's okay, Mrs. Chung. I think we just took care of that.