MacGyver » Season 1
Original Air Date: November 3, 1985
A Senator recruits MacGyver to recover $60 million worth of stolen diamonds; Mac meets the Senator's daughter, Chris, in the Virgin Islands, and she fills him in on Catlin, the man who now has the diamonds. Catlin owns a casino/hotel, and the floor plans reveal that there are two safes: one in the casino, and one in Catlin's penthouse apartment. Mac visits the casino and wins big - thanks to a couple of loaded dice - to get a look at the casino vault. That vault is too small to hold the diamonds, but Catlin's men discover that Mac was cheating. Chris creates a diversion while he makes a break for it. The next day, Mac and Chris plot to get to the other vault: Chris will start a small riot in the casino while Mac breaks into the penthouse. The plan works, and Mac pours the diamonds into a rain gutter where they travel down and into the trunk of his car. However, Catlin catches Chris as she tries to escape. He calls Mac, threatening to kill Chris; Mac drives the diamonds to an airplane hangar per Catlin's instructions. Catlin takes Mac and the car onto a plane. Chris is on the plane as well; as it takes off, she and Mac manage to lock Catlin and his men into the cockpit. As the plane climbs higher, Mac attaches a large cargo parachute to the car: he and Chris get into the car and drive out the open hatch. The parachute opens, and as they float toward the ground, Chris, exhilarated, kisses Mac.
"You don't like him much, do you." MacGyver, understating Chris's feelings for Catlin
MacGyver: What if I were to go in and . . . take the diamonds from Catlin?
MacGyver: You tell me how taking something that doesn't exist constitutes breaking the law.
Chris: You know, you're right. What the hell - we'll do it!
MacGyver: What do you mean "we"? You're in the Peace Corps, not the Green Berets, remember?
MacGyver: I've found from past experience that the tighter your plan, the more likely you are to run into something . . . unpredictable.
Chris: How can you be so sure you'll win?
MacGyver: I'll cheat.
Chris: You look like James Bond.
MacGyver: I feel like . . . [British accent] James Bond.
[After this, in a non-Bond moment, he tries in vain to get a spiky tuft of hair to lay flat.]
Catlin: Good luck.
MacGyver: Somehow, I know you mean that.
Catlin: I haven't seen you around.
MacGyver: Haven't been around.
Chris (waking MacGyver up): How can you sleep?
MacGyver (groggily): Usually, it's no problem.
Catlin (flirting): Good evening. Is there anything you need?
Chris: I could use some luck, right about now.
"Nasty habit." MacGyver, referring to the half-smoked cigar in Catlin's ashtray
"You're right: it's an octave too high." MacGyver, to Catlin's bird, while trying to match the notes on the vault's entry device
MacGyver: Now get yourself down and brace yourself. This could be fun.
Original Air Date: November 10, 1985
In the opening gambit, in the Pyrenees, MacGyver sneaks into a camp of soldier-like mountain men to free Dr. Gates, a geologist that was taken prisoner. He reaches her but the mountain men follow as they flee. After rappelling down a cliff, Mac and Dr. Gates escape via a raft in the river.
Mac travels to the Amazon to meet with his friend, Dr. Charles Alden. "Charlie" is investigating a strange phenomenon: dozens of bird species are fleeing frightened from something in the heart of the jungle. Mac and Charlie set out on a small expedition, but they are told that the Indian guides refuse to go. They travel on in search of a man named Trumbo, who runs a cocoa plantation. They find him, but he says that he will not put any of his people in danger. Mac notices that Trumbo's pump is broken. Mac fixes it; later, Trumbo, grateful that the pump is working to fill the water in his dam, agrees to guide them himself. En route to a local village, a strange sound draws the trio's attention, and they find a gigantic colony of soldier ants on the move. Hearing cries from the village, they see that a woman is trapped under a large canoe; Mac and Trumbo work to free her while Charlie goes to take pictures of the ants. Caught up in his work, he's slow to notice that the insects are crawling on him. Trying to shake them off, he slips down the hill into the larger group of ants. Mac and Trumbo hear Charlie's call, but they arrive too late: he's dead. Mac and Trumbo return to the plantation, where they realize that the swarm is heading for them. Trumbo's workers flee: only one, Luiz, chooses to stay. Luiz goes to the dam, according to Mac's plan, and raises it, so that the water fills the irrigation ditches like a mote - but that doesn't stop the ants. Instead, they reach the dam, and when Luiz doesn't respond to the signal for more water, Trumbo and Mac know that Luiz is dead. Mac's second idea of a flamethrower burns out when they run out of gasoline. Finally, Mac says they have to blow the dam: he whips up some home-made explosive and fashions a protective suit. He ventures out into the ants, and it isn't easy, but he succeeds in blowing the dam. The flood of water washes away the ants - and most of Trumbo's crop - but he and Mac are alive. Determined, Trumbo says that he will rebuild what he lost, and he challenges Mac to return in a year and see the progress.
MacGyver: That's when I usually get a call: when somebody's in trouble and needs some rescuing.
"I don't think I can sneak out of here disguised the way you came in." Dr. Gates, referring to the towel Mac was wearing to blend in
"Don't tell me you're shy." Dr. Gates, after Mac suggests a bit of privacy as they change.
MacGyver: We figured this group just didn't know the difference between geology and physics. They probably thought that you could build 'em an atom bomb.
[Mac uses barbed wire to pop the raft of the guys chasing them and dump them in the river.]
Dr. Gates: MacGyver, are they still after us?
MacGyver: No. Chances are, those guys are all washed up.
MacGyver: I think I should get an unlisted phone number.
MacGyver: Here be tigers and unknown beasts?
"He lives two days up the river, on the far side of nowhere." One of the locals, describing Mr. Trumbo
Santos: Monsieur Trumbo recognizes no law but his own.
MacGyver: Sounds like an interesting guy.
Charlie: If the Indians are so terrified, how does Trumbo keep his work force?
MacGyver: Maybe they're more afraid of him.
"Can't you people read? The sign says keep out." Trumbo, referring to a scary wooden mask posted at the entrance to his property.
Trumbo: Perhaps I could ask you to repair it.
MacGyver: Perhaps you could help us out a little.
"The power of the American dollar. Half-dollar, actually." MacGyver, after using half-dollars and electric arc welding to fix Trumbo's broken piston
Trumbo: I hold what I have - that is all I need.
MacGyver: Personally, I like a little variety.
"An eating machine. Two miles wide and ten miles long." Mac's assessment of the ants
"You got that one Trumbo. The trouble is, a couple billion of his relatives are comin' to the funeral." MacGyver, after Trumbo kills an ant
Trumbo: We're out of gasoline and we're out of miracles.
MacGyver: So? Now's the time to start thinking.
"This is more than I started with." Trumbo, looking on the bright side after the water that washed away the ants also destroyed his crops
Original Air Date: November 17, 1985
Mac stops at a diner to ask for directions, but he discovers that two men with guns have taken over. One introduces himself as Terry Anders; the other, a scruffy-looking fellow with tendencies toward violence, is Buddy. Two more men arrive with an armored van. Buddy prepares to blow the back door open with explosive; to save the guard inside the van, Mac constructs a blowtorch and cuts the lock off. However, Buddy shoots and kills the guard anyway. The bad guys' plan soon becomes clear: they're going to steal a plane that is coming to land at the adjacent airfield. The pilot radios that he'll need some repairs; MacGyver says that he can whip up something. He uses the opportunity to escape with the other hostages - Kelly, Dave and Al - but the bad guys chase them down. Back at the diner, the plane lands. Buddy locks Kelly and Mac in the freezer, but they escape while Dave is working on the plane. Mac creates a diversion, and Dave overcomes his inner demons to help stop the killers from escaping.
"It was a little strong." MacGyver, being sarcastic after the bad guys emptied his coffee cup and found the message for help that was written in it
Buddy: I like girls that talk a lot.
Kelly: Is that supposed to frighten me or excite me?
"I'd be willing to bet you didn't win that in a raffle." MacGyver, after the bad guys drive an armored van out of an 18-wheeler
"A good plan is always flexible." Terry Anders, deciding to let Mac try to open the door on the armored van
Terry: MacGyver, what do you do, by profession?
MacGyver: I, uh, move around.
"Aw, c'mon, now, Buddy. Now that's just bad taste - picking on girls. Show a little class, for a change." MacGyver, when Buddy is his typically crude self
Kelly: "Gerry-rig a switch"? All Dave has to do is trace the circuit.
MacGyver: Yeah, I know that and you know that; no one else seems to.
Kelly: There are four men out there carrying guns.
MacGyver: Kinda tough odds. Let's even 'em up a little bit.
Dirk: What's that?
MacGyver: Lateral Cranial Impact Enhancer.
At this, Mac uses the part he's carrying to knock Dirk out.
MacGyver: You didn't happen to use fertilizer on that garden, did you?
MacGyver: Good answer - got any left?
"It's a little recipe I use in emergencies." MacGyver, explaining the fertilizer bomb he's making
Dirk: I owe you one, pal.
Buddy: You can have what's left when I'm done.
MacGyver (unimpressed by their threats): Let's not fight over me, boys.
[Mac and Kelly are locked in the freezer.]
MacGyver: We're gonna get out of here.
MacGyver: I don't know that quite yet, but I figure we oughta be pretty quick about it.
"Kids need a home, not two strangers just trying to be polite with each other." Kelly, on why she didn't have kids
MacGyver: How about a deal; I wish for you, you wish for me.
Kelly: Okay. First wish: that we get out of here.
MacGyver: No problem. Start making a second wish.
"You just do what you wanna do - I'm not goin' out like no wimperin' dog." Al, the cook, to the bad guys
Dave: I can't fly that chopper, Kelly.
Kelly: You won't fly it, and that's different.
Al: Dave, I think she's saying that this is one of those times when you go one way or the other, and the rest of your life depends on which way you pick.
MacGyver: We've gotta stop 'em.
Dave: Why? We're alive! And I don't give a damn about the money!
MacGyver: They killed a man. I give a damn about that.
[The bad guys have been stopped.]
Kelly (relieved): I'll wish for you, you wish for me.
MacGyver: You gotta be careful what you wish for, Kelly. It just might come true.
Original Air Date: November 27, 1985
Mac visits his friends Bill and Laura who are drilling for oil in a remote section of "wilderness." They hit a gas pocket: Bill says that means there's oil below. However, a strong wind blows a string of lights, and one of the bulbs breaks against the derrick, sparking a fire. The group runs from the resulting explosion. Bill's friend, Pete is thrown and hurts his leg. The burning derrick falls, and flames continue to burn above the shaft. Bill says that they don't have time to wait for help to put out the fire because their lease expires in two weeks. Mac suggests that they put it out. Mac and Bill travel to an abandoned mine to look for dynamite. They find some, and they return with a few crates of it. The plan is to drop explosive into the shaft: when it explodes, it will burn up all of the oxygen and the fire will go out. (According to Laura's explanation of "hell-fighting.") The gang fashions a heat shield and a pulley system to get the explosive close to the fire, where the heat is intense. Everyone works together, and the fire is extinguished. Mac offers to help his friends rebuild the derrick and resume drilling.
MacGyver: Some people say that there are no more frontiers left for us to conquer. But then again, some people still go out into the wilderness in search of their dream.
MacGyver: How did Bill ever see you before I did?
Laura: Oh, just lucky, I guess.
"A man of many, many, many, many, many, many talents." MacGyver, after entertaining Laura with his juggling skills
MacGyver: You got a spare fuse?
Laura: You're holding it.
Laura: I asked him to make a choice: hellfighting . . . or us.
MacGyver: He chose right.
MacGyver: You got yourself a simple fracture there: you got off lucky.
Pete (in pain): Yeah, I'm a real lucky guy. Couldn't get any better.
MacGyver: Maybe we oughta consider puttin' it out ourselves.
Bill: With what?
MacGyver: Know-how. Ingenuity . . . Dynamite wouldn't hurt.
"This road would definitely be an E ride at Disneyland." MacGyver, as he and Bill navigate an extremely bumpy path
MacGyver: You know this building is coming down at the first strong wind?
Bill: Hey, you wanna live forever?
MacGyver: Thinkin' about it.
Bill: Pure nitro. That stuff'll go off if you sneeze.
MacGyver: Let's try not to sneeze.
Bill: You scared?
MacGyver: You bet.
Bill: Me too: ain't it great?
Bill: You are crazy! I mean, certifiable!
MacGyver: Yeah? What does that make you?
Bill: You've always got an answer.
MacGyver: It doesn't always work.
"This time I think it's gonna be more like the old days: prayers and guts." Bill, recalling the high-tech equipment he used the last time he fought such a fire
"I've been wanting to take a nice long vacation with a little rest and relaxation. Spend some time with friends. Party down." MacGyver, with a laugh, volunteering to help Bill and Laura rebuild their derrick