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Collision Course

Original Air Date: December 12, 1988
Episode #069

MacGyver assists his old college buddy Jeff Stone in testing a racecar with an environmentally-friendly all-plastic engine. The Phoenix Foundation invested in the project, and Mac reports to Pete Thornton that the engine is performing even better than expected. The car's performance becomes a concern for Carl Strickland, who will be ruined if his car doesn't win. MacGyver recognizes Hans Visser, the driver for the Strickland car; they crossed paths eight years ago when Mac was racing in Europe. During the qualifying races O'Malley, one of Jeff's pit crew, sabotages Jeff's car after being blackmailed by Strickland. When Mac repairs the broken part, O'Malley cuts a rear brake line which causes Jeff to crash. At the hospital, the doctor reports that Jeff's leg is broken. Mac blames himself for rigging a faulty patch, but Pete tells him that the accident report shows the brake line was cut. A visit to the trailer for the sports network covering the event provides video of the crime - and O'Malley. That night, Strickland and Visser find O'Malley drunk in the hospitality tent. O'Malley says that he's going to confess. Visser punches him and he lands in the fountain. Strickland says to let him drown. With the evidence of foul play, the racing officials agree to let the Stone team enter a replacement. When the other driver is snowed in, Mac reluctantly agrees to drive. During the race, Mac fights his way up from last place and wins. After the race, the police arrest Strickland and Visser after evidence connects them to O'Malley's death.


MacGyver: For my eighth birthday, my grandpa Harry drove me in his old blue pickup to the straightaway behind the Clemens farm, put my hands on the steering wheel, and slammed his foot into the gas. I'll never forget the sound of the wind rushing past my ears, how the red needle trembled past ninety, the wheel shakin' in my hands. Scared me to death, and I thought nothing in the world could be more exciting.

Pete: How's our, uh, investment doing?
MacGyver: Worth every penny the Phoenix Foundation has put into it. Emissions are down eighteen percent, and the engine's running ten degrees cooler than we expected.

MacGyver: Heard from Meg?
Jeff: Charlie got a birthday card from Wisconsin.
MacGyver: You still miss her?
Jeff: . . . I guess she's happy. Being married to a dentist, she doesn't have to worry about him buying it in a crash.

Jeff: When I refused to sell him my design plans, Strickland got so mad he dumped me from his racing team.

MacGyver: Visser.
Pete: You know him?
MacGyver: Little too well.

Visser: MacGyver. Small world.
MacGyver: Yeah. Too small.

MacGyver: You're a glory hound, Visser. And you're still dangerous.
Visser: It takes nerves to win, MacGyver. You lost yours, remember?

"Maybe we invested in the wrong engine." Strickland's investor, after singing the praises of the Phoenix Foundation's entry

Pete: Let me get this straight: they're qualifying, they're not racing.
Charlie: Oh, no, they are, but just one at a time. See, each driver has five laps to make his best time, and then only the top ten cars get to go on to the championship.

Charlie: Listen, why did MacGyver ever quit racing?
Pete: Actually, he never talks about it.

"My daughter, the patron saint of speed demons." Jeff, after Charlie brings his lucky charm

Charlie: He told me that what he did for a living was dangerous, but . . . if you let yourself be afraid of dying, you're just gonna end up being afraid of living.

"I've seen you do a lot more with a lot less." Pete, after Mac observes that the replacement car needs a lot of work

"You know, if you ever give up wanting to be a driver, you've got a huge future in commodities." Mac, after Charlie trades to acquire parts

MacGyver: Eight years ago in Europe, I was leading a race . . . A car clipped me from behind. I spun into another car . . . The driver was killed.
Pete: It wasn't your fault.
MacGyver: Pete, the car that clipped me - the driver was Hans Visser.
Pete: Okay. So, now you'll know what to expect. You'll be ready for him.

Pete: It's like you said, "Good ole clever MacGyver can fix anything." Maybe it's time he fixed himself.

[Strickland shows Visser the nitrous oxide.]
Visser: But that's illegal.
Strickland: So's murder.

"Not enjoying the race, Mr. Strickland?" Pete, as he and a cop find Strickland trying to sneak away

The Survivors

Original Air Date: January 9, 1989
Episode #070

For his latest assignment, MacGyver takes Phoenix Foundation field operatives into the wilderness to test their survival skills. At the base camp, Pete Thornton says that he is the next one to be tested, but he is concerned after learning that a man younger than him not only failed but also broke his leg. Pete struggles through the obstacle course, but he finds his second wind after realizing that he wants to stay field-certified. As Mac and Pete collect berries and firewood, they find a downed plane with two men dead inside. From the papers and equipment, they realize that it is a DEA air surveillance plane, and the wreckage indicates that it was shot down. Knowing that other planes will come searching, Mac and Pete realize that they need to radio a warning, but it's a three-day hike back to civilization. From the film in the DEA camera, they learn that two men with a seaplane shot the plane down. Mac says that only one lake in the area is big enough to support a seaplane, and he and Pete hike toward it, planning to use the bad guys' radio to call for help. At the lake, they find a huge stash of cocaine in a cave, but the drug-runners return before they can sneak out. Their hiding place is discovered, and one of the baddies, Crandall, tosses a grenade into the tunnel, sealing them in. Mac spies a way out, but they'll have to climb to get to it. It isn't easy, but they make it. Mac makes a decoy to lure the bad guys away from the plane, and Pete is able to radio the Phoenix camp. However, after realizing that they're chasing only one man, Crandall returns to the plane as Pete climbs out. Crandall fires and Pete falls into the water, clutching his head. Mac knocks out the pilot and hurries back to the lake after hearing shots. Crandall emerges from hiding, pointing his gun at Mac. Suddenly, Pete springs from the water and punches out Crandall.


MacGyver: For the past two months, I'd been taking groups of Phoenix Foundation field operatives into the wilderness, pitting them against nature and themselves. If they made it through the three grueling days of survival testing, they were recertified for field duty, and life went on pretty much the same as always. If they didn't make it - like Bill Foy - they were reassigned to other duties.

MacGyver: I was tired, I smelled like a monkey cage, and I felt like a prize fink. Who was I to judge my peers?

Pete: I set this program up myself years ago because I believed that field operatives had to be ready for anything. Otherwise they couldn't be trusted.

MacGyver: You're not worried about this, are you?
Pete: Worried? Heh. Listen, what's to worry? I've just got to face it. Either I make it or . . . I don't.
MacGyver: You're worried.
Pete: Yeah.

Pete: I aced it once. Last time I even enjoyed it . . . Of course, that was a hundred years and thirty pounds ago.

"Lucky I've got the padding for that." Pete, after a rough landing

MacGyver: Well, I call it an obstacle course. Some of the others call it "MacGyver-land."

Pete: MacGyver-land, huh. How did Bill Foy do here?
MacGyver: Well, actually, this is where he broke his leg.

MacGyver: Let me give you a hand.
Pete: I think I could use a whole body.

Pete: Level with me, MacGyver. How am I doin' so far?
MacGyver (brightly): Better than Bill Foy.

Pete: Did it really come to this? Middle age. Fallen arches. Blisters. And now . . . acute humiliation.
MacGyver: Well, there's no reason to be humiliated. This is a tough course.
Pete: Yeah. And I'm washing out on it.

Pete: Don't patronize me, MacGyver. I don't think I could stand that.
MacGyver: You think that's what I'm doing?
Pete: No. I think that's what you're trying not to do.

Pete: If I am gonna wash out, I want to do it in front of a real friend.

"Besides. What would you do without me? To bail you out of all the trouble you're so good at getting into?" Pete, growing resolved to remain field certified

Pete: You know, I would think out of respect for an older man - and your superior - you would have the common decency to be a little bit winded!

Pete: Well, there's no campfire, ashes, anything. I say we look for a stash.
MacGyver: You know, I like that, Pete. You're thinkin' like a smuggler.
Pete: Well, the brain is the last thing to go.
MacGyver: Yeah? What's the first?
Pete: Eh, can't remember.

"I'll live. I'll hurt, but I'll live." Pete, after Mac asks if he's okay

"Come on, Fatso. You can do it. You said you could do it; now do it!" Pete, to himself

MacGyver: This next part might be a little tricky.
Pete: You mean, compared to the day at the beach we've had so far?

Crandall: Your friend's not here. I shot him. He wasn't, uh, built for heroics.

Pete: Does this count toward my recertification, or do I have to go back to MacGyver-land?
MacGyver: You just saved the teacher's life. Of course you passed.

Nurse: The DEA is really high on you two. The rumor is, they're thinking of giving you medals.
Pete: Medals? I had my heart set on a chocolate shake and a cheeseburger.

Pete: You know, I lost six pounds out there? I may start dating again.

Deadly Dreams

Original Air Date: January 16, 1989
Episode #071

MacGyver and Pete Thornton work with the police department as part of a Phoenix Foundation program to provide technical support. However, one of Mac's gadgets fails during a drug bust and Murphy, the head of narcotics, grows even more reluctant to accept their help. As Mac works to fix the "cutters," the captain announces that Mac and Pete will be part of the task force to help catch a serial killer. In a meeting, the captain reports that Eric Cross escaped from the state mental hospital after faking symptoms of a heart attack. The narcotics division is assigned to locate Cross' probable target, a woman named Candy who survived his previous attack and testified against him. Soon, the police get a call from the owner of an adult bookstore reporting that Cross was there, trying to find Candy. From evidence in Cross' cell, Mac forms a theory that another patient, Dr. Zito, helped Cross escape. Mac is told that Murphy is the one who caught Zito, but she doesn't want to talk about him. The time she spent studying Zito's crime scenes left her in therapy. That evening, Cross forces the bookstore owner to call Murphy and say that he knows where Candy is. Murphy and Sweeny arrive at a warehouse, but Cross swipes Sweeny with an ax and grabs Murphy. Meanwhile, Mac visits Cross' cell again. From the books and drawings about Viking burial rites, Mac realizes that, at Zito's instruction, Cross plans to offer a sacrifice by fire and enter Valhalla. The symbols in a drawing reveal that Murphy will be his sacrifice. At the warehouse, Cross prepares a firebomb then takes a handful of pills and falls asleep as the fire starts. Mac arrives with the police and deactivates a booby-trap at the front entrance. To get to Murphy, Mac again tries his cutters, and they work. He unties Murphy, and the others get Cross. Later, Cross is returned to his cell and Murphy confronts her fears by facing Dr. Zito.


MacGyver: She's making the buy.
Pete: The buy?
MacGyver: Eh, it's . . . cop talk.

Pete: Murphy?
MacGyver: The head narc?
Pete: Yeah, I know. The one who hates our modern technology.
MacGyver: Well, let's put it this way: Murphy was happy with the tank.

Captain: What happened here, Lieutenant?
Murphy: MacGvyer's new technology just cost us thirty-two seconds. I want my tank back.

Murphy: That's a brass problem.
MacGyver: No, it's our problem, Murphy. The contract your department has with the Phoenix Foundation is a five year marriage.

MacGyver: So what's the gripe? You've got some of the best scientific support available to any police department in the country!
Murphy: I'll send a thank-you note to the mayor.

Murphy: Listen to me, MacGriever--
MacGyver: It's MacGyver.
Murphy: Whatever. You just don't get it. What we are doing here is police work. Now, sometimes the public - civilians like yourself - just don't understand what it takes to get the job done.

Murphy: Now, I've heard you hate guns, abhor violence, and I'm sure my tank is very chilling to your . . . sense of justice and fair play. But we do live in the real world here. Guns and tanks and nasty crooks are all just a part of the big picture.

Wyatt: So, what now? Back to your, uh, test tubes, or whatever you guys do?
MacGyver: No, Wyatt. You heard the lady. The job's gotta be done. I'm just gonna have to do it without her.

Murphy: I asked out of homicide for a reason. You know that.
Captain: I have no choice, Murphy. And neither do you.

Zito: I think you'll find Mr. Cross to have anticipated most everything.
MacGyver: That so?
Zito: He's quite an unusual man, you see. It will be very difficult to stop him, to solve his deadly riddle, so-to-speak. His cunning is so complex, you'll have to be intellectually superior, exceptionally persistent, and possess an abundance of ingenuity to even get close to him. Are you all of these things, Mr. MacGyver?
[Mac looks up.]
Zito: Yes. I know your name. Does that frighten you?
MacGyver: Should it?

Charles: You okay?
MacGyver: Oh, yeah. It's just that one guy in there could put frost on a sunny day.

MacGyver: He- he knew my name. Psychic?
Charles: Zito would like you to believe that, but we've been expecting you. The walls have ears.

Murphy: I'm sorry about the way I sounded off yesterday.
MacGyver: Hey, I understand. Thirty-two seconds is a lot to lose out of any day.

"Some people say he manipulated his way into the funny farm to stay off of death row." Sweeny, about Zito

Sweeny: You're not into some kind of detective work here, are you, MacGyver?
MacGyver: Well, enough to believe that Dr. Zito had something to do with Cross' escape.

Sweeny: Why would Zito want to help somebody else escape?
MacGyver: Good question. Maybe somebody in homicide has an answer.

Murphy: I got inside the artist's head and when it was over, I spent three months in therapy. I couldn't even read about him in the newspaper. Can you understand that? If I . . . deal with it any more, if I even look at Zito . . . I'll lose my mind.

Zito: My, my, my, my, my. It's all so brilliant, isn't it.
MacGyver: Thought you might say that.

MacGyver: You helped Eric Cross escape.
Zito: So. Now what? Are you going to have them take away my library card?

MacGyver: The question is, why would you help someone else escape?
Zito: I could have dozens of reasons. Humanity, for one.

MacGyver: I've seen your file. You are a self-centered, egotistical psychopath who has to have control of everything.
Zito: Mm. Aren't we perceptive.

"By midnight, the riddle will have solved itself . . . But I do enjoy a good card game, Mr. MacGyver." Zito, trying to be cryptic

"I'd like to continue this . . . but I'm bored. The game's over, Mr. MacGyver." Zito, starting to lose control as Mac pieces together his plan

MacGyver: You were reading Jung earlier today. Man and His Symbols? You into dream analysis, Dr. Zito?

MacGyver: Sacrifice to Odin, the Viking god of death. . . . [he reads from the book] . . . "He grants victory to one man but summons another from the battlefield to the other world; the power of fire takes him to Valhalla, and his soul is cleansed of guilt."
Zito: Bravo. So, now you know that Mr. Cross is seeking a peaceful and fulfilled afterlife. So, how could that possibly serve my needs?
MacGyver: To get there, a handmaiden has to be sacrificed along with him, according to the book.
Zito: You're a fast reader.

MacGyver: You okay?
Murphy: Talk about being just in time.
MacGyver: Oh, nonsense. We had a good thirty-two seconds to spare.

[Cross is returned to his cell.]
MacGyver: Your deal, Dr. Zito.
Zito: The smell of victory, Mr. MacGyver?
MacGyver: Something like that.

Ma Dalton

Original Air Date: January 23, 1989
Episode #072

MacGyver returns home to find that his houseguest, Jack Dalton, has created a huge mess. As Mac starts to throw Jack out, he notices Jack studying a letter he just received. Jack reveals that "a friend" has been sending Jack his late father's medals from the Korean war; the most recent package includes a picture of Dalton, Sr. who looked exactly like Jack. Jack never knew either of his birth parents, but Mac says that if Jack's mother is sending his father's things, she may be trying to reconnect with him. Pete Thornton says his sources at the Pentagon confirm that Jack's father was shot down in 1951, as he sacrificed himself to save three other crew members. Pete also divulges that Jack's mother, Francine Leyland Dalton is a wanted fugitive; she jumped bail after being arrested with her employer Arthur Bandel, who is charged with running a multi-million dollar stock swindle. Mac and Jack visit bail bondsman Marty Ricco and discover that Francine called Sam "Sparky" Greer, one of the men from Jack, Sr.'s crew. Ricco's secretary calls Bandel and reports that Francine Dalton has a son. Mac and Jack travel to Sparky's bar. They find Francine upstairs, winning a game of poker. Not happy to see them, she is barely civil, and Jack storms out of the bar. At Mac's insistence, Francine admits that she's trying to keep Jack away to keep him safe: she has evidence against Bandel, and she knows he'll use Jack against her if he can. She's proven correct as Bandel's men force Jack into a car. Francine and Mac arrive outside in time to see them leave, but before they can do anything, bounty hunter Jesse Colton appears, having been clued in by Ricco. Colton locks Mac and Francine in his van, but Mac manages to free them and return to the bar. Francine that she was to take the evidence - a computer disk - and appear at Bandel's upcoming trial to convict him and prove her innocence. She calls Bandel and offers to trade the disk for Jack. The next day, as Mac tries to sneak into Bandel's place, he's discovered by Colton. Mac explains that Francine wants to testify and Colton can have the commission on bringing her in if he helps save her and Jack. Colton agrees, and soon Bandel is in custody. Later, Francine and Jack agree to give being mother and son a try.


MacGyver: After three weeks above the Arctic Circle monitoring whale migration, I truly felt there was no place like home. No howling subzero winds. No shifting ice. No wandering polar bears. No sushi sandwiches. Just the simple comforts of my own domain.

MacGyver: You are unbelievable. I let you stay here for three weeks and you turn my place into a . . . a plane hangar.

[Gertie the mail lady has arrived with bills.]
Jack: What you got?
Gertie: What you owe. Looks like they all found you, Jack. Time to move again...

MacGyver: If I have to get a court order to get you banned from these premises, I will--
[Mac sees Jack pouring over a letter he received and his tone softens.]
MacGyver: --do it.

Jack: So, my old man's dead. That answers that.
MacGyver: What, you didn't know?
Jack: I never even knew what he looked like 'til now.

MacGyver: Who were those people you were living with in high school?
Jack: Foster parents. Nice people.
MacGyver: And what happened to your real mom?
Jack: I never knew her. She, uh . . . she gave me up for adoption while I was still in diapers.
MacGyver: Why didn't you tell me any of this before?
Jack (with a shrug): Too busy aggravating you, I guess.

"I didn't need to keep reminding myself that I wasn't good enough to keep." Jack, with why he didn't talk about his mom leaving

"Mothers. Sometimes they're more trouble than they're worth, you know?" Jack, after Mac suggests they start looking for Francine at the bail bondsman's office

"Felony or misdemeanor?" Ricco, greeting Mac and Jack

"You're a very sick man, Marty." Jack, after Ricco offers them money to bring Francine in

MacGyver: Do you always sign your notes "a friend"?
Sparky: Well, listen, I just felt it was best to pass along the stuff anonymously. I . . . I didn't know if it was gonna upset you or make you proud.

Jack: Sparky, she's my mother. For better or worse, I just want to meet her.

Francine: You did your homework. So what do you want, a gold star?
Jack: How about "hello"?
Francine: I said goodbye to you a long time ago.

MacGyver: You didn't send along his father's pins, medals, photos, these last few days?
Francine: That weak-kneed, sentimental old fool Sparky did that - without asking me.

"Count your money later. I want to know what kind of mother gives up her son twice in one lifetime." Mac, a bit angry with Francine

"Are we being clever?" Francine, as Mac is trying to reach a crowbar with his feet

"You're offering me fifteen to bring her in; she's offering me twenty-five to let her go. I think I'll let her go." Colton, on the phone with Ricco

Francine: You alright, Jack?
Jack: Well, the last thirty-seven years have been kinda tough.

Jack: You shouldn't have given it to him.
Francine: You're my son.
Jack: Since when?

Francine: Jack, please try and understand. I was a bride, a mother, and a widow all at the age of seventeen. Your father was the only man I've ever loved. When he was shot down, I went out of my mind . . . I couldn't even take care of myself, much less my own baby.

Bandel: There's no power failure.
Jack (pointedly): Must be rats. This place is full of 'em.

MacGyver: What's it like to know there's nobody looking over your shoulder?
Francine: Well, for one thing, it makes you want to look ahead instead of behind.

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