May 1 - August 29, 2007

May 1, 2007
» a thankless job

Last week, on a whim, I googled my made-up word "fannesite". I forget what I was looking for, but I found an Alias site in Belgium that is using the banner from my site in their layout. Since this was news to me, obviously they didn't ask for my permission. Since the site is in another language, it's possible that they credited me somewhere, but I did see that my site isn't on their links page.

I've noticed this before: my site is good enough to steal from, but not good enough for a mention. This time, I'm not really mad about it though. Even when I first saw that site, it was like, "That's my banner. Oh well." I simply checked to see if they "borrowed" anything else, and when I didn't find anything, I shrugged it off. At least they didn't try to hotlink.

I did make a note of the site's address, which I'm purposefully not posting. I may not be mad, but I don't reward dishonesty by sending people website traffic.

May 12, 2007
» she's so shy

Yesterday, the sound of rain drew my attention to the window. It was raining pretty hard, and when I was out for lunch I had noticed that the passenger's side window on Cute Work Guy's vehicle was rolled down. I thought that I should probably tell him about the rain, and I stepped out of my office to do so.

However, seeing him at his desk, I stepped right back into my office because I was hit with an attack of shyness. I'm thinking, "I can't go over there! What if he thinks I'm just trying to talk to him??" I looked back outside at the rain and told myself, "For Pete's sake, Anne! His car seats could be getting wet! Go TELL him!" Still, I lingered a minute more. Then I thought about the time I rode in his vehicle and what a shame it would be for one of the most comfortable car seats I've ever experienced to get water damage. So, off I walked.

I approached him with, "Hey, did I see that your car window was down?" He didn't understand, so I had to repeat my question. (Note to self: nervous rambling isn't exactly the best way to express yourself.) He said that no, his windows weren't down. I was like, "Oh, because it's raining." He said something I didn't hear because I was retreating to my office. In retrospect, one of the guys had been going around earlier saying that the radar showed rain in the area, so maybe CWG decided to go roll his windows up then.

But this whole scenario is so typically me. There are certain people that I just can't seem to approach with any degree of ease, even though - like CWG - these people have been nothing but nice, and they'll talk back should I happen to talk to them. Despite that, sometimes Old Anne takes control and says, "I can't talk to them. They'll think I'm a dork!"

At times like that, I need to remind myself, "Anne, they've met you, remember? They *know* you're a dork. Just go with it."

May 19, 2007
» time and time again

Starting this past week, everyone in our department is supposed to be working at least 48 hours a week. I did this week, and can I just say? Ouch. It started out pretty well, with being busy just about all of three ten-hour days. But on the fourth and fifth days, my concentration was pretty much shot by lunch.

Anyway, expect my on-line appearances to be fairly sporadic for a while. (I can hear you now: "What was your excuse before??" Touche.)

My primary reason for this post is to wish my on-line friend Michele a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY! We "met" about six years ago (!!) through a pen-pal website, and we've been writing ever since. We've shared good times, bad times, and many times in between, and I really appreciate her being there for me. :hugs:

May 23, 2007
» work more, humorless

I am fairly fed up with people.

First my OfficeMate persists in bringing up my name to tell untruths about me. Yes, he does it to my face because he's trying to be funny. A person can scarcely comment on anything without him responding, "Anne told me to do it that way," or "Anne says she will sell you her car," or "Anne broke that when she threw it at me," or whatever fits the topic at hand. Sometimes I don't mind. But what *really* grinds my cookies is when he says these things and the person he's talking to actually believes him. I felt that was happening today, and I was trying to convey that I'd just about had enough of his "humor", and he totally wasn't getting it.

Then, in trying to make a joke of my own, I ticked off another guy who said, in a most surprised (or was it hurt?) way, "Anne is making fun of me." What?! NO! I was just teasing, and I really thought that being the easy-going guy he is he would get a kick out of it. Thinking about it now, I'm still troubled that I might've really hurt his feelings, and I'm peeved that this happened when I truly meant no harm. I guess if this guy doesn't know me well enough to know that I don't say things in a mean spirit, what can I do about it? :sigh:

I think the first thing to be strained by the overtime we all started working last week was our collective sense of humor.

May 31, 2007
» dorky no more

Step one in my quest to be less dorky: stop greeting people with "Heidi," "Howdy," or any similar word that is one Forrest Gump wave shy of complete dorkitude. I realized earlier this week (after greeting one of my neighbors, d'oh) that I have *got* to come up with some new material. Maybe I'll try asking, "How's it goin'?" or, if there's only time for one syllable, I'll use "Hi," "Hey," or even "'Sup."

I plan to make an extra effort to practice doing this until it becomes ... well as much of a habit as saying "Heidi" has been. :blush:

True story: when I was a waitress, I greeted a couple with "Heidi." The lady shakes her head and says no. As I'm trying to cover up my ???s, she looks at her husband and asks, "Do you want coffee?" He declined as well, so I shrugged to myself and offered lemonade.

June 3, 2007
» the cost of a cheap shot

Yesterday, Jeff and I were doing a bit of shopping. (I was the one doing most of the looking and buying, but he was there too, hence it is valid to say that Jeff and I were shopping.) At one point, I squat down to compare the merits of some ninety-nine cent bamboo placemats. I'm rambling about some decorating "vision" that I've had, and I glance over at Jeff. He has also knelt down, but I notice that his face has that glazing-over, on-the-verge-of-sleep look that it so often bears.

I quip, "Oh, are you sleepy already? Hey, I don't even have my pictures from Nebraska..." I'd just mentioned the Nebraska picture fiasco in an email last week, after he seemed surprised to find that he could fall asleep sitting in a chair. He's done this no less than three times while around me, and yet he's surprised at this??

I said, "Yeah, I took that cheap shot," yet my tone was hardly apologetic. If anything, I recall feeling quite pleased with myself. Then he replied, not meanly just quietly honest, "I could take cheap shots at you too..."

Oooch. Suddenly I was less pleased with myself and more ashamed for being so childish. The topic quickly changed, but this morning I found myself thinking about the exchange again. I had just told my sister after I took the cheap shot in the email that doing so was, as the self-help books say, avoiding the real issue. I'm still pretty raw about him falling asleep while I'm showing him pictures of my trip. Given the way I think he doesn't really listen to me as it is, that incident was the supreme example of him absolutely not caring what I have to say, and I think about it every time I see him getting sleepy when we're out. After it happened, I tried to bring it up (in an email), and I even wrote that it was pretty rude. He pretty much dismissed it with, "I blame the screwy hours at my job."

It occurred to me that maybe I keep bringing it up because I'm hoping it'll somehow be resolved to my satisfaction. As if I'll mention it just one more time and he'll suddenly realize, "Oh, you're RIGHT! I'm a thoughtless, sleepy JERK! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!"


Instead, to his honest remark yesterday, I should've replied honestly that I guess I keep bringing it up because it really hurt my feelings. I should've briefly - not accusingly, just sharing feelings - said my piece about it and then let it go.

Hmm, I still haven't replied to his email, so maybe I can clear the air then. But at some point, I should probably learn to *talk* to him.

June 14, 2007
» you know what I think I'm sayin'??

Last week, my OfficeMate was getting frustrated again. Yes, again, and no, I'm not really surprised by this. This time, it was about having to type up a long list of questions to answer about a project. I suggested that he ask the secretary or the file clerk if they have time to help him with that. He immediately dismissed that as saying that he doesn't have the authority to ask them that. I replied by asking what he's got to lose by asking if they can do it.

As luck would have it, minutes later the file clerk arrived at our door to talk about the upcoming company picnic. OfficeMate says in a joking way, "Anne says you need to help me type this stuff." Understandably, the clerk is not at all clear what he's talking about, and he continues to skirt around the real issue by rambling that he has to answer all these questions about a job. But he never actually asks her to help type them.

The subject changes to the picnic, and she leaves. He grumbles to me, "What did I tell you? THAT went over well." I said, "The way you said it, she thought you were kidding, like you tend to do about things."

It's hardly fair - not to mention pretty pointless - to get angry with people for not reading your mind, yes?

Along that line, I did write to my boyfriend about the falling-asleep-looking-at-pictures thing that I mentioned in the previous entry. As planned, I admitted to him that I guess I kept bringing it up because it hurt my feelings. He wrote back that he wished he was "less tired more often."

My big gripe before was that, to me, his falling asleep while I was talking tells me that he's truly not interested in what I say. Him trying to joke and blame his job for it before only made it worse to me (although I didn't tell him that part) because it shows that he truly just doesn't get it.

Then it occurred to me that this must be one of those common occurrences where two people simply see things a different way. I mean, I'm thinking, "How am I supposed to interpret his actions as anything but a lack of interest?!" On the other hand, his interest (or lack of) may never have even entered his mind as a reason for the sleep. He just thinks, "I was tired because of the weird hours I work. Therefore, I fell asleep."

Um, what was that about anger due to not reading your mind? Um, yeah. In my defense, I don't think I was expecting him to read my mind ... well, not completely. I did venture to say before that I found his falling sleeping rude, and that's when he said that he blamed his job. In any event, thinking of his attitude as merely a different way of seeing the situation - and not an attempt to slight me - makes me feel a bit better about the whole incident.

I plan to share this revelation with him when I next see him. I would only hesitate to do so because I feel that whenever I say something that could be taken to mean that I was irrational, he thinks I'm admitting I was wrong and therefore dismisses all my concern, and thus the vicious cycle of miscommunication continues. I'm not saying I was wrong, because I still think that lack of interest *did* contribute to the falling asleep. I'm just recognizing that two people saw a situation two different ways. Hopefully, if we can both see that - and keep it in mind for when it happens again.

June 21, 2007
» I really must go

I could write about the absolute boatload of stuff I've accomplished toward website work this week. Or I could write about the stressful encounters I've endured lately as my boss has decided to help by nitpicking my work and talking to me as if I'm completely devoid of functioning brain cells. Or I could detail my adventures in acquiring apartment maintenance.

But all of that will have to wait for another day, because remember the website work? The boatload? Yeah, well, now I've redeveloped that painful left shoulder that I get when I sit at a computer for too long on too many days. So, I'm off to some therapy: vegging on the couch and watching DVDs.

June 27, 2007
» like nobody's watching

On Saturday I was driving and singing, as I often do. Stopped at a traffic light, as often is the case, from the corner of my eye I could tell that I had an observer. Still singing, I looked over and some pre-teenish girl was looking back. From the way she was fully turned toward me, I got the impression that she wanted me to know she was watching, as if she's trying to shame me for acting so foolishly, or something. Oh, I'm sorry. Is my joie de vivre making you uncomfortable there in your must-act-this-way world? :shrug: I get that all the time.

And I understand why my antics beg an audience. I, too, watch people in their cars while I'm driving, and typically -- pitiably -- face after face shows a whole lot of nothing. No energy, no light in their eyes, no zest for life. In that sea of people just going through the motions, a spirited rendition of "I Will Survive" really stands out.

So, watcher kid in the teal blue Pontiac, be warned. If you see me out driving again, there's a very good chance that you'll find me singing. Heck, I might even be dancing, so you'll want to have your disapproving little looks ready. Then, while you're looking, consider how much fun I'm having. Maybe next time you'll dare to be more than a spectator.

July 9, 2007
» by the numbers

I took a few days of vacation last week for the fourth. I'm still trying to get back into the swing of things, so this post will consist of numbering parts of my time off:

0 - days of wearing makeup
1 - borderline traumatic incident that I'm not ready to talk about
1 - DVD watched (My Big Fat Greek Wedding)
2 - decorative items with a chicken theme purchased
2 - bruises
3 - coats of polish applied to toenails
4 - July 4th, aka Independence Day
4 - cans of vegetarian chili, bought on sale at Kroger
5 - mosquito bites
5 - bowls of ice cream eaten
6 - on Friday (the 6th) I purchased a few Christmas gifts
8 - hours of sleep, almost every night
13 - Ocean's 13, seen with my sister

July 17, 2007
» in other words

The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it.
-- C. P. Snow

The phrase "the pursuit of happiness" does seem to be a contradiction in terms. It makes happiness sound like something that's somewhere you are not, and, coupled with the word pursuit, it brings to mind an image of chasing after an always-elusive prey. Similarly, in real life if you're looking for some thing -some person, some purchase, some event - to make you happy, you're wasting your time.

I'm reminded of another quote: "Success is having what you want, but happiness is wanting what you have."

(Quote from ... in other words...)

July 19, 2007
» dear Jeff, huh?! edition

From the email I just sent:

Me: Pictures from the picnic were posted today on our server. They got some shots of me looking super ultra goofy. :cringes: I plan to take my memory stick and get the ones of you and me. Hopefully this coming weekend I'll have time to resize them and post them.

Jeff: Somehow I doubt you look that bad. Me, on the other hand, ...

Me: Not so much "bad" - although is some of they, yeah - as goofy. I'm looking pretty weird in pretty much all of them. :sigh:

"Although is some of they, yeah." Yes, I actually sent it like that - *after* proofreading it!

I should not try to write things when I'm having a Bad Brain Week...

July 25, 2007
» act one, scene two

At work, the drama has returned. Yesterday, as the guy that trains me and my OfficeMate was in our office, an email popped up on my computer. Trainer Guy saw that it was from a former employee, and coupled with the fact that Former Employee and I wound up at the same party on Friday night (another blog for another time), Trainer Guy started teasing me about having a fling with FE and about being the "mole."

Truth be known I was trying to get some help with my monster of a project. I was already overdue on it, and Trainer Guy was far too busy to provide the sheer volume of help I needed. I went to the boss with it, and he literally spent an hour yesterday talking about design theory, but when I'd say, "So, on this job specifically, I need to...?" he'd say that I should talk to Trainer Guy since he (Boss Man) had not designed in years. After a wrinkle in the project had arisen, TG had already said that he wasn't familiar with what needed to be done, and he had mentioned this to the boss. So, WHY was the boss trying to send me back to him?

Clearly, I was stuck. I wrote to ask Former Employee - technically still an employee somewhat since he does some contract work for our parent company - for help, and yeah, I vented a bit about the lack of help I was getting. FE was mad for me, and he mentioned the situation to some higher-ups at the parent company. FE even offered to do the project for me, since that was really the only way it was going to get back on schedule.

Today, the boss comes to me, asking about that project. He seems determined that it not go to FE, and the boss and I head in to talk to Trainer Guy about getting me some help. This should not have been news to Trainer Guy, as I had told him yesterday after the aforementioned new wrinkle came up that when the boss came to talk to me about it - as I knew he would - I would tell the boss straight out that I needed some help.

Well, we wound up calling a higher-up from the parent company to see if anyone there could help, and it was decided that FE would take over the project. I tried not to smile after hearing that.

As predicted, later this afternoon, Trainer Guy started talking, in that joking manner where you still know he means what he's saying, that I threw him under the bus. When he says it tomorrow, I plan to respond, "Yeah, because I couldn't possibly have really needed help, or anything."

August 2, 2007
» those things I do

In the midst of trying to keep up with my vida loca busy, recently I've started to feel bad when I don't blog at least once a week. I did, after all, resolve at New Year's to be a better blogger. Yet I often sit down to write and nothing seems to flow.

It's not like I have nothing going. You might be surprised at some of the things that occupy my time. (Then again, perhaps you can totally relate!) Take this week, for instance. I have:

- tried to style my hair - after a butchering by my hairstylist last Saturday - in a way that doesn't look so bad I want to cry. I haven't really succeeded, so I've worn my hair up two days in a row, something I haven't done in the year I've been at my current job.

- been obnoxious to my boyfriend. I was already in a bad mood on Saturday after the disastrous salon visit, and my boyfriend greets me by looking me over with a bemused, about-to-make-some-comment look. True to form he says, "Oh, we're going *casual* today." Granted, I was wearing an outfit that might have been more suitable for something like cleaning the house, but Mr. Jean Shorts and Polo Shirt really doesn't have that much room to judge. I snipped, "I didn't realize that we were doing *formal* today!"

- resolved to find a new stylist, one who is capable of observing my craptastic hair yet doesn't feel compelled to comment on it. During the last two salon visits, my soon-to-be-ex stylist says, "Oh, yes, those ends did need some attention." When I've already been feeling super extra ugly of late, her adding, "Your hair's like mine. It breaks easily," does not soften the blow. I guess I'm lucky she didn't take one look at me and declare, "I'd better cancel my appointments for the rest of the day!"

- continued crushing on yet another guy I can't have. I have every confidence that if he (or any Inappropriate Crush) showed interest in me that I would turn and run, but that's not happening, so I've been obsessing. I think it's about to burn out, or at least simmer down. Then I'll probably develop one on someone else, as I seem determined to crush over every blinkin' guy that I work with. :sigh:

- wondered way more than once if my latest crush is as blatantly obvious as it feels. Am I saying Crush Guy's name too much? Do I look at him too much when we're in the same room? Can people tell that I take every opportunity to go near his desk? Exactly how is stalking defined in this town?

- been to work, of course. Where else am I going to find guys to crush on? Plus, the guy that trains my office mate and me has been off on vacation, so I've been enjoying the lower level of drama.

- visited the office at my apartment complex two different times. Once in response to the note I found on my door that I need to renew my lease, and once to drop off my written maintenance request, reporting that for the second time in less than a month my freezer is not freezing. (So, really it's just an "er" at this point.) I know that they added more coolant the last time, so in my request I nicely said that if it needs more coolant this soon, the fridge probably needs to be replaced.

- made an appointment to take my car for repairs tomorrow. I'm dropping it off in the morning, and they're supposed to have reserved a rental car for me so that I can return to work. I would have someone from work pick me up but the repair place is about an hour away one way, so I'd feel better about not imposing that trek on them.

- accomplished quite a bit of website work. I'm glad about that, too, because last week I just couldn't bring myself to do much at all on it. Those times always concern me because I find myself thinking, "What if this feeling never passes?" I always seem to forget that if it's one thing feelings do, it's pass.

Like I said, it's not that I have nothing going on. It's just that there's not that much worth writing about... Then again, when has that ever stopped me? See you next week!

August 5, 2007
» strike three

Upon returning to my apartment today, I opened the freezer door and found pools of water in my ice cube trays. And, of course, all of the frozen food I had was ruined, after I had just used a one dollar off coupon to buy two packs of veggie burgers.

I promptly called my mother to complain. I fought the urge to swear multiple times.

I headed over to the complex office and left a maintenance request. Trying to be civil yet firm, I told them that, as this is the third time in a month that the unit has been "fixed" and it is *still* not working properly, I want it replaced with one that works. "If I need to purchase my own," I wrote, "let me know tomorrow and remove the old fridge."

I'll call them in the morning to be sure they found my request and to ask what their plan is. I see myself again fighting the urge to swear.

August 6, 2007
» me and my big blog

I'm happy to report that the old, non-working refrigerator has been removed from my apartment, and a new, working one stands in its place. Given the seventeen inch gash down the side, I'm guessing it was from some scratch-and-dent collection, but as long as it works, I'm good with it.

Moving on to the tale behind my subject line, a few weeks ago my OfficeMate (OM, as I call him here for short) mentioned possibly doing a website for the side business he's trying to start. After briefly considering whether I was sharing too much, I confided that I have had quite a few websites for quite a long while, and we chatted about that, with him asking me various HTML-related questions.

Note that I didn't go so far as telling him what the sites specifically are. He agreed when the topic came up again a bit later that it was best he didn't know, because he didn't trust himself not to spill the virtual beans when he gets to talking. Since then, he's made reference to my websites while various people have been in the office. As OM is widely known for being misleading, I've been able to just roll my eyes at his remarks, and people remember the rule: "When OM talks, we don't believe him."

Until last Friday. OM again mentioned my sites - I've seriously started accusing him of being compulsive - and our visitor asked, in a somewhat derogatory tone, if I have a myspace page. OM is all, "Oh, she's gone BEYOND myspace." Our visitor looked quizzically at me, and I admitted vaguely that I have "a website." The visitor continued to look at me, like, "Well, what is it?" I said that I wasn't going to tell him what it was. He said confidently that he would find it.

Now, although I'm very cautious in what information I post - why do you think I avoid posting real names as I tell these tales? No, I'm not *trying* to be annoying - I know that it's possible to find my domains if you know what to search for. I had every confidence that Website Searcher Guy would find one, so I asked that when he finds it, he not tell me. He said that he'd leave a message in the guestbook.

WSG left the room, and I griped at my officemate for again sharing information that I told him in confidence. OM was typically unrepentant, saying that although he jokes about it, he's really impressed with my hobby. Yeah, I don't accept that as a valid excuse, but thanks for showing your true colors once again, OM, before I trust you with something truly important.

I considered the ramifications of WSG finding the sites. I figured that finding this blog would be too big of a coup not to share, and I imagined him telling everyone at work. I briefly entertained the thought that I might become the local dooce.

And making all of this a little more complicated? WSG also just happens to be the Inappropriate Crush Guy that I mentioned two posts ago. Perhaps my biggest fear of all in this is that WSG/ICG (wow, even the abbreviations are getting complicated) would find that post and ask me who I was crushing on. I pictured him hounding me about it, and me - as I marveled over one of the weirdest turn of events ever in my life - answering, "Would you believe that it's you?" I don't see how things could be anything but awkward after that.

Today, WSG/ICG came to work a bit later, but he finally did pay us a visit. I almost held my breath, waiting for him to tell what he found. Thanks to OM, the topic at hand quickly spiraled into talk of my website. WSG/ICG said that he looked but couldn't find it, and he expressed doubt that I even have one. I sighed with relief.

Still I can't escape the thought that perhaps he did find the sites, but he's honoring my request and not telling me. Yes, I think he's a decent enough guy to do that. This is why I don't mind admitting here that he is the one I was talking about last week. I never have to know that he knows, he never has to know that I know, and all that awkwardness ... remains unknown.

In any event, I don't think I'll be able to keep my on-line presence (such as it is) a secret for long. I try to bear that in mind as I write these things. As I like to quote: "Do not be ashamed to say what you're not ashamed to think."

August 9, 2007
» false alarm

"You know how sometimes the last sentence you said, like, echoes in your brain? And it just keeps sounding stupider? And you have to say something else just to make it stop?"

Thank you, Angela Chase of My So-Called Life, for putting into words how I've been feeling for a few days. Since writing the last post, I've been hit hard with a case of blogger's remorse. At the time, revealing the identity of my crush seemed a necessary detail to show the full circle of weirdness of the situation I was describing. And though I knew he might read it, I decided that if he read anything else I've written, he'd know that it wasn't a huge deal. I mean, I admitted that I know nothing can come from it. I know that he's got someone, and he knows I've got someone. There's just something that I like about him, and as I wrote the last entry, it was important to me that he knew it. I thought that he'd maybe be flattered and then laugh it off.

However, it wasn't long before my imagination went wild, fearing that I'd put ideas in his head, and I pictured everything from him being conflicted to learn of my crush to him showing up at my door to talk. I figured at the very least, given the way he hasn't stopped by the office to say hello lately, that he was feeling awkward, thinking I'm pining away for him, or something.

Just now, I thought to check my blog stats for the last week. I'm fairly sure that if he did find his way here, it would be from my "personal site." It is *crazy* how relieved I am to see no report of any visitors clicking here from there. :relaxes after holding breath: Oh, I'm aware that people from work could still find my websites, I'm just glad to think that, for now, one certain person has not.

August 14, 2007
» I always feel like somebody's reading me

I've discovered that, after learning that one's blog may have been found by one's Real Life work acquaintances, one's thoughts tend to progress through certain stages:

- Denial. "No. No, they can't have found my website."
- Anger. "It's your fault, blabbermouth OfficeMate! YOU told them about the site!"
- Delusions of Grandeur. "Maybe my blog will finally get some traffic. Maybe I'll become some sort of local celebrity!"
- Damage Control. "I'd better post some sort of explanation for what I've been writing."
- Obsess Over Everything. "What does So-and-So think of what I wrote? Is he taking it all wrong? What will I say if he asks about it? HOW CAN I EVER FACE HIM AGAIN?!"
- Return to Denial. "I checked my stats, and it doesn't seem that they've found my site. *That's* a relief."
- Giddiness. "My secret thoughts remain secret! Woo hoo! And I'm free to write again!"
- Return to Reality. "Wait, they could've found the site this other way, which wouldn't show up in my stats/referrer list."

Apparently now I'm in the Paranoia stage, where I keep thinking that the people at work have found my blog - maybe they've even known about it for a while now! - and they're competing amongst themselves to see who can get me to post things. Because lately? It seems that certain of my co-workers are doing their best to vex me. Well, sorry peeps, but there was no winner in this round. Next time may I suggest you try niceness over annoyance? Ooh! Or cash. Cash is always good. :D

August 21, 2007
» coincidence and leprechauns

"There are two things that I don't believe in: coincidence and leprechauns." - Buffy Summers

Fueling the paranoia that I wrote about in the previous post, no sooner do I say that people wanting to merit mention here in my blog should try being nice to me than - surprise! Someone at work is nice to me above and beyond the call of duty.

On Friday, one of the guys came into the office and starts straightening up the place(!). Apparently the disorganization was bothering him, and I teased him about losing sleep over it.

After a bit of organizing, he says that he's given the matter a lot of thought, and he tells his idea of a shelf to organize the reference books that OfficeMate and I share. I agree that it sounds like a good idea. Office Organizer Guy leaves but soon returns, suggesting that the guys in the shop could make a simple shelf unit to put in the middle of the table. I said that if he could get someone to make the shelf, we'd sure use it.

A bit later, OOG returns, saying that he found someone to make the shelf, and that he would take it and paint it. I was off of work for two days, but I remained impressed that OOG and the other guy would go to the trouble of doing that. Knowing that it might not come to fruition, I thought it best not to get my hopes up.

But upon returning to work? There it is. Thanks, guys. You rock!

August 23, 2007
» big shot

"You had to be a big shot, didn't you. You had to open up your mouth. You had to be a big shot, didn't you. All your friends were so knocked out." - Billy Joel

Sometimes, when I think of using a certain reference for a subject line, I'll hesitate, considering whether I might encounter a future situation where the subject would've been better used. But in this case? I somehow doubt there's much danger of that happening, because I hope to never encounter someone who fits that song more than my OfficeMate.

Today, I was reminded yet again that OM is the type of person who will listen to you ramble on (and on and on), and he'll sympathize and converse normally. However, the SECOND he has the opportunity to bring it up to someone else? You can bet your sweet bippy that he will.

And not in a casual, light way. Oh, no. From where I sit, if he isn't genuinely mean-spirited, then he was born without that little switch that tells you when you're about to go too far. Today, for example, after lunch he brings up something that we'd been talking about, except he turns it around so that it's embarrassing to me. Either ignoring or completely oblivious to the fact that I'm about to start fuming, he keeps chuckling as he continues to write an email about it to the coworker he'd just started talking to.

When that coworker emailed me a question about it, I wrote back with a decidedly unfriendly response, and I copied it to my OfficeMate, thinking that he'd get the hint that he was already well past the line of humor.

OfficeMate keeps on going, so I finally had to confront him. I said that he fits right in with the third grade mentality that he'd just moments before accused our coworkers of having. I said that yes, I like to laugh, but not at the expense of other people, and I added, "You're just . . . mean." I wasn't as eloquent as I'd like to have been, but I thought I spoke pretty well considering how very angry I was. Then, as so often accompanies my anger, I started to tear up. I tried to sit there and get over it, but I couldn't, so I had to escape to the ladies' room.

For those keeping score, that makes this the second day in a row I've cried at work. Yeah, I'm not having a stellar week.

In this case, I'm mostly mad at myself for forgetting how OM is. I actually wrote "Don't Forget!" on a sticky note and stuck it to my computer. Hopefully I'll be reminded to not say *anything* to OM that I don't want publicized. And mocked. And laughed at.

August 29, 2007
» aftermath

After the events I described in the previous post, my officemate and I haven't had much to say to each other. We've continued to greet each other with a friendly-sounding "Good morning," but beyond that it's been pretty quiet when no one else is around.

It occurred to me that most of our chatter before was probably instigated by me. Even when I'd tell myself, "Anne, he is trying to work. Stop talking to him." I'd still think of something, and off I'd go, babbling away.

I thought about apologizing to him for spouting off like I did, but my boyfriend said it was probably best to let it go. Officemate has said - and from what I've seen of him, I believe it - that men hate to talk about things like that, so I decided it was best not to bring it up.

Yesterday, he wished me a good evening as he left, which he hasn't done since Thursday. Maybe we're both slowly getting over it? I hope so. I truly do.


< Previous Entries

List of Entries Journal Index

Next Entries >

F O O T · N O T E D