July 23 - December 30, 2023


July 23, 2023
» "it's a job"

I've been at my new job almost four months... and it feels like longer. Below is a recap of the goings-on, from my recent letter to Michele:

I'll start by saying this ranks as one of my toughest job transitions ever – and not just physically. In an attempt to avoid Detail Overload, I'll share what I think have been the three toughest aspects.

(a) I can't recall starting a job where I could use so little of what I know. So, I had to ask a lot of questions. Making that (much) worse was [Jane Doe], the 28-year-old who is training me, and to say the least, she's been mostly impatient and contrary.
(b) I can't recall when I've misjudged what a job would be like so badly. The manager, for one. Plus, the work is not what I expected: they made it sound varied and interesting. Instead, people refer to us as “data entry” and 95% of my work is typing numbers into the system.
(c) The people I work with are polite (on a good day) but decidedly less than inclusive toward me, although they are tight with each other.

April and much of May were SO stressful, I dreaded going back each day. :*( I'm glad to report that the b and c points are improving: I've learned the system to where I can be productive, and so people are interacting with me more about the work.

And some aspects of the job are proving to be advantageous.

(1) The drive is definitely nothing like I feared. As I've mentioned in past emails, most of my career I've had long commutes, and I've quickly grown reaccustomed to the traffic. Plus, that time offers a chance to mentally prepare for work and to decompress afterward.
(2) They let me pick my schedule, and so I chose [x] to [y]. This time is proving to beat the worst AM and PM traffic rushes.
(3) This schedule also gives me time to walk 15 minutes each day before work. Plus, in our huge building, I was told that people walk in the long halls for exercise, so I've been doing that almost every day for the last 15 mins of my lunch. And! Walking inside means I'll be able to keep doing it, even on the hottest summer days.
(4) With most of my time spent on a computer, I pretty quickly stopped wearing makeup. That saves valuable time each day before and after work. Plus, my skin is so dry and sensitive now, it's aggravated when I have to scrub off makeup.

I'm thankful they hired me, and I'm thankful that things have been improving. Unfortunately, the cons still outweigh the pros. (I'm especially stressed by the thought of having to keep working with [Jane] for a long time.) To the point that on June 10, I took time to update my resume and submit a job application with another company. And I'm still checking the listings regularly, looking for great opportunities.

Since I've been job searching again, I've been a lot less stressed...even though I've only applied 2 places, so far. I know that I might not get another job, but that potential gives me a sense of hope, you know? And I've been praying for God's leading, either to open a new door, or if not, help me to trust that He has me in this place for a good reason. So, I've got a peace about it, either way. :D


December 30, 2023
» a year in review - 2023

1. What did you do in 2023 that you'd never done before?
Added rotisserie chicken to food dishes (but did not purchase another due to surprisingly high fat content), began using half-caff coffee, cooked ground turkey and chicken breast on the stove top, enjoyed a pineapple chicken frozen dinner, shared the administrative assistant role with a second person, tried frozen turkey meatballs (now a breakfast staple), used an immersion blender, and worked with an Oracle database (NOT impressed!). I revisited the local mall for the first time since before Covid. I streamed more shows, watched more DVDs, and enjoyed more YouTube music videos than any year in recent memory. I was employed in retail for the first time in a very long time.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
For 2023, I wanted to "be brave and to keep talking to God in prayer and keep trusting God with whatever He brings my way." Sometimes I did keep that resolution, although, more often, I blew it.

No resolution made for 2024.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
no

4. Did anyone close to you die?
In February, my uncle passed, and in May, I lost a cousin who was my age.

5. Where did you travel?
only to work

6. What would you like to have in 2024 that you lacked in 2023?
someone who speaks my love language

7. What date or event from 2023 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The September day I arrived at my office job, was promptly shuffled into the conference room with 70 people and discharged in a layoff due to a downturn in their business.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
In August, I had my first "biometric health screening" blood test, and my results were awesome: my numbers were in the good ranges for all six of the checks! PRAISE THE LORD!

9. What was your biggest failure?
With months of unemployment and two jobs that proved to be the wrong fit, I felt like a failure career-wise all year. Also, I - finally! - recognized a damaging protein deficiency in my diet, and, having long tried to make good food choices, realizing that I've been oblivious to something so important has me feeling completely dumb. #OhWell #AlwaysMoreToLearn

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
In October, I developed a runny nose, a cough and an achy left eye, aka Sinus Business, the worst since 2018.
In early December, I hurt my arm/back/left shoulder blade while moving a 40(!) bottle(!) case(!) of water(!) at work. It was the worst and longest lasting injury pain I've experienced to date. Thankfully, it continued to improve along the way, with the past three days being almost back to normal.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
my first recliner
runner up: four clear plastic totes to replace cardboard boxes for storing off-season clothes in my closet

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Again this year, Kelley, my co-Sunday School teacher. She covered our class while I worked Sundays during my two months at a retail job.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
"K" the 28-year-old who was assigned to train me at my office job. When she met me, she didn't smile, just glared with a "you gotta be kidding me" look. As a trainer, she was impatient and scolding. Because of her, when I was let go, I could truly thank the Lord for closing that door.

14. Where did most of your money go?
household expenses

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I can't think of a single thing.

16. What song will always remind you of 2023?
Probably the line from a song our church choir sang years ago that says "Even in the valley, God is good."

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or sadder? sadder
Older or wiser? older
Thinner or fatter? fatter
Richer or poorer? poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
focused on the good things I have, instead of on the... painful perplexities

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
felt as if I was behind and could not catch up

20. Did your heart break?
Yes. With the ongoing job challenges, this year was hard - perplexing and painful - and I ugly-cried a lot.

21. How did you spend Christmas?
We had to turn down an invitation to join my cousin and his family because my sister's arthritic knee has had her barely able to walk for the entire month. So, my mother, my sister and I had our typical Christmas. I worked on these questions and reflected on the year while I did a load of laundry. We opened our gifts around nine-thirty, after I set up our low-frills video camera. I took pictures of our decorations and gifts, and made lunch (a frozen pot roast dinner, actually quite good). We ended the day watching DVDs.

22. How will you spend New Year's Eve?
I will attend the services at church and teach Sunday School for the first time since December 3. Later, the fam and I will watch DVDs, and then ring the new year in as we typically do: sleeping.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Thanks to DVDs, I'm rediscovering my fondness for childhood fave CHiPs. I also enjoyed streaming the old-but-new-to-me series, The Hardy Boys.

24. What were your greatest food discoveries?
My food discoveries were some of the year's few highlights, as I continued to enjoy success with my so-called experiments.

25. What was the best book you read?
My job schedules left little time for much else, and IIRC, I only read Christian periodicals: Journey devotional magazine, and my church's Lifeway literature.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Our church's new worship leader introduced several awesome songs that I had somehow missed. Alas, as I write this, no specifics come to mind.

27. What did you want and get?
God answered my prayers for direction many times.

28. What did you want and not get?
a job that I enjoy and that has long term potential

29. What was your favorite film?
I've not had much interest in movies for a year or two, but late in 2023, I revisited a couple, and seeing Captain America: The First Avenger again filled my head for a few awesome weeks with happy thoughts of heroes. <3 <3 <3

30. What did you do on your birthday?
I went to church and taught our two fifth graders in Sunday School. Since other activities ruled out my traditional birthday visit to Rosie's Cantina, lunch was semi-homemade: frozen (air fried) fish and spaghetti squash baked by my mother. In the afternoon, I mostly rested due to an attack of Sinus Business.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Certain circumstances led to an increase in time spent with my mother and my sister, and I often felt drained by the interactions. Since the situation will likely continue for a while, I need to be more diligent in making time with people and activities that refresh me.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2023?
At my office job, I enjoyed wearing my nicer business casual clothes and my blingy badge-holder necklace. At my retail job, it was sweatshirts and jeans, plus my jacket because I was colder than usual in that store.

33. What kept you sane?
trusting that God is at work even in what seems like utter chaos

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
no one

35. What social or political issue or news story stirred you the most?
Very often I was moved to pray for those affected by war.

36. Who did you miss?
Marlene, the manager who arrived right before I left my office job. With her positive, respectful attitude and good communication skills, I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to work with her more.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
Among the best new people I met were my fellow morning-crew ladies at my retail job: their kindness quickly made me feel like part of the team. At my previous job, my closest cubicle neighbors kept interactions with me to a chilly minimum, and that made for some long, lonely days.

38. What changed the most in your life this year?
2023 surprised me with one job change after another. I was unemployed until April, then I worked six months at an office job, followed by two months in retail where I pulled items to fill orders placed online. On December 29th, I resigned from retail to focus on finding the right job.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2023.
During a Bible study, I recognized my tendency to try to fit faith into a formula, this plus that equals a given. I continue to do this, though - needless to say - it doesn't work. A quote I discovered just last week offers a gentle, tried-and-true correction: "God's providence is not a code to be deciphered. It is a plan to be trusted." ~ John Piper

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"Standing on a road I didn't plan, wondering how I got to where I am." ~ Plumb, "Need You Now (How Many Times)"


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