How to talk to your waitress (or anyone else!)

"... or anyone else!"

Communicating well is a skill not possessed by everyone. Fortunately, we can always improve. To that end, we offer examples of good and bad responses in a variety of settings.

What Not To Do

Don't be like these guys. Don't become website fodder!

A fellow server, Cathy, told me that a couple had come in for dessert, and they ordered blackberry cobbler. When she told them we were momentarily out, the man slammed his hand on the table and shouted, "That's the only reason we came here!" He then pulled his wife out of her seat and toward the door. Cathy thought he was kidding at first. (He wasn't.)

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Spare the Tongue and Save the Crow*

* That is, the crow you'll have to eat later. Avoid that sinking, sheepish feeling you get when you mouth off only to be proven completely and utterly wrong.

While selecting the vegetables with her entree, a woman ordered the boiled cabbage. That wasn't available, so I told her, "Today we have lima beans." Trying to be very sarcastic (and thinking me very ignorant, no doubt), she declared, "It says right here Sunday's vegetable of the day is boiled cabbage." I responded as politely as possible with, "Today's Saturday."

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Did you know?

Could it be that some people are unfamiliar with the finer points of the laws of the universe? For example...

I was waiting on a grandmother, her daughter, and the daughter's toddler son. They ordered macaroni and cheese for the son; I told them that we only had mac and cheese on Wednesday. Upon hearing that, both the mother and grandmother put their elbows on the table and put their forehead on their hand. (Talk about drama queens! It's not as if I said we were out of chocolate.) They took the menu and very solemnly asked the little boy what he wanted. Without a fuss, he chose something else.

» Lesson Learned: sometimes you have to pick another vegetable.

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Honorable Mention

Because some people do get it right!

I was living away from home for the first time, and I stopped for a few groceries at a store near my apartment. I selected my few items and headed for the checkout. When it came my time to pay, the cashier greeted me with a friendly and familiar, "Hey, girl." I was truly touched; I'd only been there maybe twice. Kindness from a stranger can really make a lonely student's day.

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