The following unbelievable quote is from the grocery store where my mother works

Produce Department Manager (to customer): Hello! How are you today?
Customer: Drop dead.
[In all my years of waiting tables, even I never encountered anyone as unnecessarily rude as that woman!]

These are quotes that I remember from my waitress days. I have included a few comments in brackets below the quotes.

Customer: I need ketchup! Ketchup! Ketchup! Ketchup! Ketchup!
["Ketchup! Ketchup! Ketchup! Ketchup! Please!" makes it happen.]

Customer (to passing server) Excuse me ... oh. You're not our girl. We thought you were our girl.
[ I don't think that a $1 tip classifies me as "their" girl! ]

Customer: Are you from around here?
Me: Oh yes. For as long as I can remember.
Customer: So you're from this country then?
Me: Yes. Definitely.
Customer: Oh. Our daughter thought that you were from France.
[ Moi? Okaaaaay ... ]

Customer: Is your coffee fresh?
Me: I am pretty sure it was made today. (Insert blank look from customer here.)
[ I was trying to make a joke! ]

Manager (to servers): People! It does not take a rocket scientist to make coffee! (After he said this, he tried to make coffee; the filter backed up and made a huge mess. Maybe it does take a rocket scientist!)

Server (during a power outage): I don't know why these people are still coming in here and asking me for things. Apparently they think that I work for the Red Cross!

Customer (trying to sound very grand and authoritative): I will have the grilled sourdough toast.
[ Well, which is it? Do you want the bread GRILLED or TOASTED? ]

Customer (snapping at me): NO, I don't want any dessert and bring me a take-out menu to put this in!
[ She meant a take out BOX. It would have been messy to put the leftovers in a take-out menu. ]

One woman was ordering roast beef and she was emphasizing lean. I said, "I'll write it down." She said, "Yes, put lean. L-e-a-n." I said, feeling very insulted, "I k-n-o-w, know."

Menu

Lost in the Translation? ~ Was it something I said?
Contributions ~ Service! stories aren't just for servers.
Workplace Follies ~ No business is immune.
Who Raised 'Em? ~ Crack-smoking monkeys?
This Could Get Ugly ~ It does. It really does.
[ Quotes ] ~ Rude, crude, and just plain ridiculous.
Host with the LEAST ~ Monkeys on the 'Net.
Main Index ~ aka the Main Menu.