Chez Comedy

Chez Comedy


She Says/She Means

WHAT WOMEN SAY AND WHAT THEY MEAN

Yes
(No)

No
(No)

Maybe
(No)

You want
(You want)

We need
(I want)

It's your decision.
(The correct decision should be obvious by now.)

Do what you want.
(You'll pay for this later.)

I'm sorry.
(You'll be sorry.)

We need to talk.
(I need to complain.)

Sure . . . go ahead.
(I don't want you to.)

I'm not upset.
(Of course I'm upset, you moron.)

You're...so manly.
(You need a shave and you sweat a lot.)

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!
(It's my period)

This kitchen is so inconvenient.
(I want a new house)

I want new curtains.
(and carpeting, furniture, wallpaper . . .)

I heard a noise.
(I noticed you were almost asleep.)

Do you love me?
(I'm going to ask for something expensive.)

How much do you love me?
(I did something today you're really not going to like . . .)

Is my butt fat?
(Tell me I'm beautiful.)

You have to learn to communicate.
(Just agree with me.)

Do you like this recipe?
(It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.)

I'm not yelling!
(Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.)

I don't want to talk about it.
(Go away, I'm still building up evidence against you.)


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