Chez Comedy
Try This At Home
Below are several things you can do to help keep a healthy level of insanity in your life:
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for blackmail."
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation marks.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
11. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.
12. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"
13. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
14. Tell your children over dinner: "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
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