Things That Make Ya Go ...
DID YA EVER WONDER?
~ Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
~ If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
~ Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
~ If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
~ Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?
~ Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
~ Why ARE Trix only for kids?
~ If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?
~ Why is a person that handles your money called a "broker"?
~ If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
~ Why do the Alphabet song and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune?
~ Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
~ If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
~ Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
~ Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
~ If the funeral procession is at night, do you drive with your lights off?
~ If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
~ When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
~ If cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
~ Why is the word abbreviation so long?
~ If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
~ Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
~ What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
~ Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
~ Is it possible to be totally partial?
~ What's another word for thesaurus?
~ When companies ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
~ If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
~ Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
~ Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
~ Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
~ How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
~ Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
~ When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
~ Why do they call it a TV set when you get only one?
~ Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
~ If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
~ What was the best thing before sliced bread?
~ What do chickens think we taste like?
~ What do people in China call their good plates?
~ What do you call a male ladybug?
~ What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
~ When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
~ Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
~ Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? i iz hukt on fonix
~ Why are there Interstates in Hawaii?
~ Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?
~ You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
~ If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
~ If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?
~ If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
~ What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
~ When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?