If you sleep in it.....make it up.
If you wear it......hang it up.
If you drop it.....pick it up.
If you eat out of it....put it in the sink.
If you step in it....wipe it off.
If you open it....close it.
If you empty it....fill it up.
If it rings.....answer it.
If it howls.....feed it.
If it cries....love it.
Martha Stewart doesn't live here!
I'm creative, You can't expect me to be neat too!
So this isn't Home Sweet Home....Adjust!
Ring bell for maid service....If no answer do it yourself!
I clean house every other day....today is the other day!
If you write in the dust, please don't date it!
I would cook dinner, but I can't find the can opener!
My house was clean last week...too bad you missed it!
A clean kitchen is a sign of a wasted life!
I came, I saw, I decided to order take out!
If you don't like my standards of cooking, lower your standards!
Dull women have immaculate houses.
I'd live life in the fast lane, but I'm married to a speed bump.
A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.
If we are what we eat.....then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Thou shalt not weigh more than the refrigerator.
Help keep the kitchen clean....eat out!
My next house will have no kitchen, just vending machines.
Kitchen closed....this chick has had it!
Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead a normal life.