My e-pal Michele and I were sharing some of our favorite moments from TV sit-coms that we've seen, so I decided to post some of them. (Hey, I'm always on the look-out for website content!) Giving credit where it's due, I've noted the ones that were written by Michele.
Martin has a dream/life-goal of writing a hit song for Frank Sinatra. Frasier and his brother, Niles, encourage the dad to give it a try saying that they'll help. The three go over to the piano, where Niles and Frasier argue briefly over who gets to play the piano. Niles finally "wins" and sits down on the piano bench. Martin says, "Okay, the melody that I'm hearing in my head goes like this: ..." (he continues rhythmically in loud voice) " ...bwoppity-bwoppity - bwop-bwop, bibbity-blabbety, bwup, bop, buh-wop!" Niles and Frasier just look at him for a minute. Niles starts to get up and says to Frasier, "Well, it is *your* piano ..."
Niles is distraught over the breakup of his marriage and storms into the powder room after a huge outburst. Suddenly there's a loud POP. The others think Niles has shot himself. Instead the door opens and Niles is covered with shaving cream; the dad's shaving cream warmer popped the can.
In one Frasier and Niles open a restaurant together. They lose all of their staff, so they have to work in the kitchen themselves. One of the dishes they're to prepare is eel; the eels are alive and swimming in a fish tank. Niles is trying to kill them by stabbing the water with a butcher knife. Daphne says, "For Pete's sake," and in a single stroke, she snatches one out of the water and slaps its head again the counter top like one would crack a whip. She hands the eel to Niles who just holds it and looks at her like, "What a woman!"
Niles, Frasier, their dad Martin, and (Frasier's producer) Roz are all on a cruise. As it turns out, Nile's estranged wife Maris is also on the cruise and she happens to see some flirty woman coming on to Niles who is so not interested in the woman. Maris runs out before Niles can explain. Niles is depressed that she won't talk to him, so he goes for a walk. Frasier, Martin, and Roz go to Maris's room to talk to her. She isn't there but they go in. They think they hear her coming in and they go to hide in the bathroom. Soon Maris does enter her cabin, and Niles is with her. He finds the three hiding in the bathroom. While in the bathroom he sees that Maris used some of her favorite mouthwash which indicates that she is in the mood for love. Niles tells them that he will distract her so they can sneak out, and he and Maris "can celebrate the way a man and his wife were meant to." Niles peeps out the door into the cabin and whispers to the others, "Oh, it looks like she's started without me." The other three simultaneously say, "Ew...!" with disgusted expressions on their faces. Niles explains, "Drinking the champagne."
Frasier and Roz were at the coffee shop that they frequent. Niles came in as Roz was about to leave. As Roz stood up from her seat, Niles reached into his jacket pocket. Roz snapped, "Every time I get up from a chair, you wipe the seat before you sit in it. I have to tell you that is more than a little insulting." Niles pulled out his cell phone and, without giving Roz a response, he started dialing a number. Roz mumbles an embarrassed, "Oh, sorry Niles. Guess I'm just little edgy today." She leaves. Niles, on the phone, has apparently dialed the cafe's number. He says, "Yes, this is Dr. Crane at table four. Can you send someone over to wipe my chair?"
Blanche and Rose were doing a dress rehearsal for a play and they were dressed as nuns. Anyway, they had to leave wherever they were right away because a hurricane was brewing outside. Meanwhile, Dorothy's uncle(?) who was a priest was visiting from Italy and Sophia convinced Dorothy to pretend she was still married to Stan and that the house was theirs. The Uncle walked into the kitchen where Blanche and Rose were, wearing the nun's habits and holding their clothes. (Their bras are on top of the pile). They introduce themselves as "sister Rose" and "sister Blanche" and Blanche explains that "We're collecting lingerie for needy, sexy people." (by Michele)
Dorothy and Rose remodeled the bathroom all by themselves. They were all finished and they (along with Blanche) decided to take a "test run" of the toilet, sink and shower to see if they were all working properly. One of them said, "All right girls, on the count of three. One, two three!" and each proceeded to flush the toilet, turn the sink on and turn the shower on. Everything worked and the three of them jumped up and down, yahooing all over the place. Sophia, famous for her last words, looks at them and says, "Knock it off! It's water, not oil!" (by Michele)
Rose found a lost dog at the supermarket and took him home with her. She wanted to keep the dog at the house until she found his owners. Blanche and Sophia didn't care but Dorothy was against it. Rose said to Dorothy, "The poor thing was lost and he followed me home. What was I supposed to do?" Dorothy said, "Come on, Rose. You drive to the market. How did he follow you home? In a taxi?" (by Michele)
Mac sneaks into the kitchen of a beach house where a lady general is being held captive. Working to create a diversion, Mac first checks the refrigerator. He finds a bag of carrots and selects one. He puts the others back but keeps the plastic bag, filling it with ice. He sets the bag on the counter and places a large serving tray on it, using the back of a nearby chair to support the other side. He then stacks pots and pans on the tray and turns on a toaster oven near the bag of ice. At this point, I'm still wondering where the carrot stick fits in. As he's backing toward the door, Mac spies the carrot on the counter, he picks it up, surveys his work, and takes a bite of the carrot.
Mac and Dr. Ludlum are fleeing a deadly robotic guard and they dive into a trash chute. They land on a platform that's designed to open - and dump its contents into an acid bath below - when there is 280 pounds of material on it. MacGyver says they're in trouble if Dr. Ludlum weighs more than 105 pounds. She says that they should be okay but the trap door starts to open. So she lied - lol! (Perhaps I'm so amused by that because I would have done the same thing ...)
Continuing the previous "moment," there's a pipe above but Mac can't quite reach it. He starts to take off his pants, and Dr. Ludlum asks what he's doing. He asks if she has a better idea; confused, she cries, "I'm still trying to figure out what yours is!" He loops his pants over the pipe, and they climb to safety.
Mama is dreaming that she's married to her widower gentleman friend. In the dream her family keeps comparing her to the man's late wife Rebecca. (It's supposed to be a scary dream, with everyone acting weird and thunder booming whenever anyone says, "Rebecca...") Mama tells the gentleman that she'll mosey into the kitchen to fix supper. The man booms, "Don't mosey! Rebecca never moseyed!" Mama steps up the pace and says, "Feet don't fail me now!"
Mama was rushed to the hospital because she was hit in the face with a pot while making gooseberry jam. Anyway Naomi, Ellen and Eunice all had different versions on what happened. In Eunice's version Naomi is a total tramp. When the berries start boiling and making these popping sounds, Naomi says seductively, "It must be hot! I can hear those beads of sweat just popping out all over my body!" To which Mama replies, "It's the berries, you tramp!" (by Michele)
My So-Called Life
Angela was in the hall at her high school, figuring the popular guy that she was secretly seeing would ignore her as usual. Instead, he walks right up to her, takes her hand and they walk down the hall.
In one scene, Angela is waking up. She's thinking - in a voiceover as she often did - how she "loved Jordan Catalano so much and thought about him so much ..." Beaming she thinks happily, "And then one day ... I got over him." And she gets up and starts dancing around her room to 'Blister in the Sun' by the Violent Femmes as she's getting ready for school.
From 3rd Rock from the Sun. I think John Lithgow's character was jealous of a male friend of Jane Curtin's character, who was a writer and was doing a book signing. Anyway, John Lithgow bursts into the bookstore, holding a book and says really loud, "This man is a fake and he should be accused of plagiarism! I have proof that every word in that book has been written somewhere else! (He holds up a book.) Perhaps you've heard of the dictionary?!" (by Michele)
From Alias. Sydney and Will were looking for information, and Sydney hacked into a hotel's computer. She said that they needed a floor plan, and Will was skeptical, asking something like, "What if it's not on-line?" Sydney replied optimistically, "What if it is?" She barely finishes speaking before the floor plan pops up on the screen. (May not be the exact scene, but it's close. It may sound corny, but that scene has actually encouraged me in several real-life situations.)
From Guys Next Door. In one skit, Eddie and Chris play two Latino, player-type guys who give love advice. Chris is reading a letter from a guy who is losing his girlfriend "even though I bought her baked goods and got down on my knees." Looking very confused, Eddie says, "What ...? A muffin or something...?" Chris basically advises the advice-seeker to be a man, and Eddie wraps it up by indignantly saying, "Now, let me hear nothing more about baked goods."
From Home Improvement. Tim's brother and sister in law were visiting, and to make a long story short, Tim accidentally saw his sister in law naked. When his brother found out, Tim tried to get out of it by saying sarcastically(?) that his brother could see Tim's wife, Jill, naked. Later, Jill was giving Tim a hard time about even suggesting that, and Tim tried to soothe her feelings by saying, "Oh, honey. Nobody wants to see you naked."
From Laverne and Shirley. In one episode, someone wrote the girls' names and phone number on the wall of the men's restroom. They kept getting lewd phone calls. On one call Laverne says something like, "And let me tell you something, buster! What you just said is sick! Sick! Sick! And I wouldn't do any of those things with you ... except maybe possibly that third thing ..." (by Michele)
From Perfect Strangers. Balki had become a couch potato. He was about to use the remote control and Larry took it away from him. Balki said, "That's okay, because I have this!" He held up his pointer finger and reached toward the TV. Larry grabs Balki and they struggle, like one would struggle to get a gun away from an armed assailant. Finally they stop struggling, since the pointer finger is bent. Balki looks sadly at it, then brightens. He gleefully holds up the pointer finger of the other hand and the struggle resumes.
From Quantum Leap. In the episode, The Right Hand of God, Sam is at a bar. As boxer Kid Cody, Sam is trying to convince Cody's former trainer to train him again. Believing that Cody will take a dive in the fight, the trainer refuses. Sam insists that he won't take a dive, but the trainer dismisses that, saying, "It's the booze talking." With a comically stern look at the nasty drink he had just been served, Sam turns back to the trainer and says confidently that it isn't the booze.
From That 70's Show. The guys went to Canada to buy beer; as they are about to stop at the border the Mexican one, Fez, can't find his green card. They almost make it through the border, but of course the Mounties discover them at the last second. Back at the Mounties office, they are questioning the guys. The whole scene is pretty good, where the Mounties ask a question then we see each guy answer the question. After the first question, Fez's answer is a quick, "Me no speako Englisho." His answer to the next question is the hilariously nonsensical "Wee fooby dibby dooby."
From Three's Company. I love the scene in the episode where Janet has a difficult new boss at the flower shop. Mr. Furley and Terri go into the flower shop and see the new boss - I'll call her B for short. Mr. Furley tells B that he would like some nails. B replies, "What? We don't have nails here." Mr. F asks, "Then how did you hang those pictures on the walls?" Mr. F and Terri keep giving B a hard time, asking for nails, a hammer, etc. B's supervisor finally comes out and asks if there's a problem. B tells him, "Yes, these people are asking for things that we don't sell!" Mr. F innocently asks the supervisor, "Do you have any chrysanthemums?"